POLISH VERSION

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.................tak wesoło
świecisz sobie słonko moje,
promieniście błyszczysz w koło
gdy ja smutny we łzach stoję...

................... so gaily
You shine my dear sunny,
Radiantly glittering around,
When I stand sad in tears...

Chapter 11. The Recovery; at least active in underground.

Urgent, to get strength back - a desperate search of underground contacts - meeting the top mind and would-be guru - the shire office of the Polish Government in Exile Delegate - wide access to underground press - the broad spectrum of the political groups, including the small right and left extreme - the carefully chosen: PPS-WRN, socialism being the natural result of democracy - "der Panzerknacker" - chemical laboratory and the explosives.

January 1, 1944, morning. Angus tried to follow Matthew’s steps, skiing on fresh, friable snow. This was not easy, Matthew was more enduring and stronger, besides being still fresh himself. Angus was not only a convalescent, admittedly quick recovering his health, but also had behind him the trek all the way to Jaruga’s house, by forest passing near the road, which was up to four km. But never in his life would he admit that he already tired, although despite a good many degrees of frost, he had wet clothes and dry mouth. They changed in turn and both joked, and occasionally licked a little of the white fluff; however they watched each other, nobody may ate any. It was difficult for Angus to hold the tempo and Matthew more and more often went out in front, even before his turn, never missing mockery to the more feeble.

Angus was recovering his strength; he ate increasingly, a good quality food, although he attentively kept a light diet. He had to act sensibly, but also in hurry - almost ruthlessly so, which was necessary if he wanted to recover all forces to the spring. To do this at last, to join guerrilla, what so fatally he failed to do previously. But bad luck never lasts eternally. If he well compressed himself and took the pain, then by the summer he should be ready and fit. Now, better knowing his organism, he may pay attention to it, like with a valuable machine, or let’s say, an indispensable animal on a farm.

Because in winter it was impossible to swim by Romanów, he pulled out his long-standing skis, a little too short now, but according to contemporary standards, now they would be considered right. Downhill glides did not go out too well, bounds altogether badly, but he liked excursions and the longer expeditions like a cross-country race, mainly within the forest. To the classes he came usually too by cross-country in forest, but before the lectures he could not be too tired, so only on the way back home did he do longer tours. And of course, greater expeditions on his free days—not only holydays as today. After all the classes he had only three times in a week. If there was no choice he had to come out alone, but preferred to come back with a colleague.

Matthew granted the tempo and plainly mocked at him. They did not do pauses, not counting a minute or a couple, by some trees. It was not a long excursion, maybe four hours, but it was so forced that he did not want to enter the home of his colleague. First, if he sat down, he was not sure if he would manage to stand up again, and then it would still be necessary to take off the skis. Matthew joked also about how hungry he is and imagined dinner. Angus somehow held on his legs all the way to home, but never though of eating. He changed only wet clothes, on bottom from sweat, and on top from snow and at once dropped into bed, on blankets covering himself with his mother’s feather eiderdown. All the time in dozen-degree frost, he was hot, but now, when he lay a moment motionless, he trembled from the cold and from all force compressed his teeth. Like a hell of Eskimos.

He covered his whole body, including the head, letting only a small subway to catch the air. In this way he isolated from the world, as if entering a dark burrow, hid there. He still saw, with spirit eyes, the snow in which sunk the ski, felt the odds of land, even skimming the short overcoat branches, but gradually these impressions smeared. It was a queer impression, and after some time flared only the sparkle of consciousness and he distinctly felt this was only a small point converted and changing places, roaming in great body. From place on place, he felt this in his head, next in his chest or even abdomen. He had an impression that with some effort and concentration, he could direct it and go out from him.

The last thought was, this little point may be the center of life, or that, what people call a soul or spirit. This was final and when he woke up, it began already an early twilight. This means that as for winter, he did not sleep too long and woke up rested, anyway in spirit, because his body was still prim and paining. Mother did not wake him earlier and only now served dinner, which was plentiful at holiday time. But Angus strangled himself only pulp from potatoes and cabbage and picked a little lean meat. With this, as usually, he generously sipped a great quantity of sour milk, which served him good, indeed.

After the dinner he had to make up for the missed home duties. To carry freshwater and to pour out the dishwater and chop the wood while it was still bright enough. The woden house was fine; warm in winter and cool in summer, but anyway, a fire they kept all-day. Then he went out to a party of chess, or more on chat to Mr. Litwiniuk, a familiar mail deliverer and neighbor. He lived-in that crosswise-placed cottage at the back, opposite side to a small room, in which Angus now slept with father. Mr. Litwiniuk was a long-standing and strong engaged supporter of Centrolew (a coalition of Centrum and leftist parties before the war, now main fundament of The Polish Government on Emigration. He was also a declared opponent of Sanacja, former also of Piłsudski, so Angus wanted to hear the relations from the other side of the mirror. His family too, opposed Sanacja, but never with Centrolew.

Angus never completed all his training program; this was measuring the forces up to designs, a wistful thinking. First, not all days were satisfactory, and second, often something unexpected happened, an emergency. But even in the remaining, about half of the planned time, he was able at best to do about half of what he intended to. Half by half, it may be 25 percent, thinking optimistically up to 30 percent and this in spite that he tried hard. Nevertheless, some result remained, he recovered slowly. Even if not stronger, a least he came near about the same strength as before, the horse cure had some effect. Not too bad for one, who almost died a few moths ago.

However with surprise he noted a valuable profit, the skill of quick resting by quick disconnecting, putting himself out. The truth still overlooked is, how much the mind controls all doings of the body. Extinction of awareness, a full relaxation does neither cause development of muscles, nor removes pain and weakness. However, it quickly regenerates the ability and wish to live. Fifteen minutes, even ten or only five sure may not replace, for example, sleep, but they give more than hour or two of so-called easy rest. Angus learned to concentrate on own thoughts and in turn to disconnect one after another, of course following as he noticed them deeper and deeper.

Observing his own mind allowed him to notice existence of not one, of but many centers of independent thinking. Surely one of them dominates, but at times takes a break and then chief functions takes over another center. Besides that dominating function is now not aware of thoughts in the others. Of course each center has access to a common memory and besides they contact between. However, sometimes the communication lines become overcharged and cannot pass the records. One may tell, a mind is not a net, as people today say, rather an organization of different people with different potential and authority, but rigid hierarchy. An organization, devoting major part of time and energy to intercommunication and acting according to Parkinson laws. The logic presumption, dreams and sleep allow filling of the possible gaps, communicate between different centers, which differ also on intelligence, in short introduces some order.

Not much sense to plunge too deep in this presumption about the set up of the human brain. For example if respective centers have the capacity to steer the body, or only cause lower reflexes, as twitching of some muscles and the like. Also, if some of them may by limited still to babyish feeling and thinking, this would take too much time, and anyway without definite conclusions. So now, only a brief reference about practices that employed Angus. The main point is, as described: a full concentration and disconnecting of thoughts beginning with the top ones, and next the others as they became noticed. Helpful is cutting of any new impressions, arriving to the brain, for example covering of eyes and ears, concentrate on the past impressions. There is possible to disconnect completely even between many happenings if one became exhausted. However, Angus saw next people, to be sure, only men, falling asleep at a moment’s notice, no matter what happened around them, both with covered head or not. He too slept in for short moments involuntarily. Even so, the brief reducing of brain work, if admittedly not as valuable as genuine sleep, restores the order between the separate thinking centers. So the technique some use instinctively, but if used with knowledge and experience, allows for a better productivity of mind than a longer nervous slumber.

It was the second half of March 1944. Several times, the temperature rose and sank again, snow melted and next the thawing froze again. Now great pools water or mud covered earth, even the sandy pastures and both sides of the road. Days became longer and brighter. Angus with skill, which grant a long experience, maneuvered among pools jumping over the deeper and trying to avoid the worst mud. Sometimes he had to return and search another passage, or balance on thrown in deep pools stones, pieces of boards, or bricks. So he did to the moment, when in boots began to splash water. However, when it gathered so much, that according to the base of connected vessel the level just about stabilized, he finished the acrobatics, and indifferently marched straight through the wet way. This he did automatically, because he was busy with thoughts on bigger and more serious problems.

From the first moment ZSZ (Union of Western Slaws) lived his own life, like a snowball, rolling down a slope. Merely after some time, at the intervals of a few weeks the number of people doubled and the only, what Angus heard, marked the development runs like an exponential function (math). However, none of the new recruited decided to continue active cooperation. Angus expected most optimistic on to 30 percent, pessimistic 10 percent, on an average about 20 percent. In fact there appeared not one candidate; except Matthew, full of zeal, exactly zero. At first Angus did not worry, he had no precised plans and still, never prepared the ideal, secret and super-safe archive for the volunteers. So there was still plenty of time, till he decided all the details. Also, the news about further avalanches coming sparse, he expected. The way for delivery along the chain got longer and longer, there were no speedy paths at the time.

But the least news suggested the development stopped, at first in the branch in Szewna, launched by Matthew. Not surprisingly, a normal event in every similar chain. With an avalanche growing, the number of available people in any small village had to finish, even in towns too, only it would take more time. This would happen not after convincing all the Poles and Czechs, but similar as with plants vegetation, after exhausting of fertile ground. Anyway not all people would take interest or fit enough to wind up outside contacts. Also, ZSZ started not on empty ground, much already took other organizations. Even considering, ZSZ should be accessible to all and had the task of proclaiming one concrete idea, universal and acceptable to all organizations, did not mean the same way may approve the other organizations.

For example in the mentioned village Częstocice Matthew found in short time 3 first candidates, next the number progressed by the further 9 and 27, but the next generation of expected 81 never completed. The 27, with difficulty, found one or two each, then met the already enrolled or got refusals, sometimes not too gently if there was already too much similar trying. Outside contacts were not easy to tie. Meanwhile the two others slow developing branches in Ostrowiec never met such obstacles and step-by-step, make up.

There appeared too, some more serious complications. A few of members told, they were asked questions about ZSZ and some got a warning. Angus too met with something like that. One day, returning home, he noticed, he has no ID. At first he thought that when coming out, he’d forgotten to take them, which was foolish, because such carelessness may put on danger. However the more he looked for them, the more he found nothing. Unexpectedly on the morning of the next day he found, inserted under the doors, a gray envelope and inside his pocketbook with all papers complete. There were his "Kennkarte" (ID), workbook, an accessory record of collector of garbage (at the time a strong document in case of police control) and even the folded in four and inserted in this record, so called "Mountaineer". (This was the greatest in use banknote of 500 zł, a bribe promoting the weight of the mentioned document in case of police round up.) Nothing was missing, except the handwritten appeal about idea and task of ZSZ, used to get new candidates.

(Elementary, my dear Watson. Angus should never carry with him these papers in his wallet, especially with personal documents. It was utter stupidity, he excused to him, the handwritten pages didn’t look like a leaflet and in case of control, would arouse interest of no German.)

Without any doubt, ZSZ come under a microscope, but nothing suggested, the observation affected the Germans. There remained a question: how may it be possible? In principle, he planned the organization as top secret, covered to maximum. In theory, the best safety offers a three-person pattern, with every three not knowing each other’s. If anything, it seems there may be only doubt, if the internal communication remains satisfactory. But here, other activeness and creating a separate group of selected volunteers never realized.

One could imagine two more safe patterns, binary and a single chain. The last cannot expand and is unable to restore, if even a single link breaks. A single chain may sometimes work to perform a single task an after a time stops functioning. The binary pattern, never to my knowledge applied any secret organization. It is too almost unable to expand and even after any small breaks, which happen to all secret organizations, becomes unable to action. Any secret society based on this, could not act satisfactorily, at best only survive. Instead secret societies often functioned, based on a five-member pattern, or even bigger, of tens or twenties.

Angus believed to design a supersecret organization whose existence none could notice. In fact, there existed a huge rift between theory and practice. The idea may appear faultless ("full-proof" or "foolproof"), nevertheless a confrontation with life disclosed the weak points. Angus had no experience; the info he took from books—this time a shortcut from a historical one of some German author titled "The secret societies in the Russia Empire at the XIX century". Before the war, this aroused his curiosity, if next proved boring. Nevertheless, from this he memorized the basics about the secret organization cells. However, it never tell on the point that every one member knows not only the person, who recruited him and three, which he recruited, but in addition the people, which he tried to recruit and talked to him, without success. Such cases Angus met now, and should anticipate . When he began to proclaim his new gospel, next after Matthew he did talk with his colleagues of the Business School, the closest ones. However, he could not convince them. Instead to discuss the matter, they wanted to know personal details about the strange society, about which nobody had heard. Angus told the standard answer, that he is only a link and does know not more than them, but he’d heard the idea came from Czechs to Poland. Anyway, this is immaterial, important is only the logic, the truth obvious, a blind may see. Despite this they remained skeptical. Next, he experienced an unpleasant surprise, as a colleague, with whom he had talked bound by his word, assuring discretion, nevertheless opened his big mouth and discussed the case with others. Well, it happened in rather a close and trusted circle of colleagues, but anyway, not fair. Worse, they arrived to conclusion too near the truth to feel good, the whole matter is Angus doing. Of course he contradicted, but feeling caught, in an unconvincing matter. To be sure, if one has to lie, the intent is not enough, also skill necessary.

Now, a short comment. In 1944 all the conditions, of occupation, life, active resistance and the freedom fighting, conspiracy, radically changed. In 1940–42 the German acts of terror with soaring number of victims horrified the population. Gestapo and others polices force appeared deadly effective, intimidating all people. But in 1943 become plain, that armed fighting does reduce the number of killed and in 1944 it again began a common fighting, no way to remain in deep conspiracy. It prevents the fighting ability, and finally the secrecy does crack .

In 1944 the picture appeared so, as if all Poles lost the sound reason, stopped to feel fright. Everywhere there was an atmosphere of euphoria. On German terror they answered with armed fighting, the Gestapo lost much of informers and plain-closed functionaries. With lack of new candidates, there appeared the effect of too short coverlet. The Polish people already knew, who is who, they dropped excessive prudence, people did not fear to speak. Discussions bloomed, with them also contestations and squabbles. One may tell, a decay of self-preservation instinct, with astonishing development of public spirit animation.

It was an extraordinary and unrepeatable experience. The year full of the free words, of discussions and intellectual life, naturally limited to the inner, Polish circle. Nobody who lived there and did see this, may ever forget. Those who did not, may never fancy. But if Germany managed to survive the year 1945, the Poles would pay a huge price of blood. Anyway, they paid even so. Giving up of elementary prudence made easy next the entering Soviet forces and their machinery NKVD to subordinate Polish people. The Safety Ministry as well as the Military Information Service managed to imprison and to kill the most valuable people, accurately, without mistakes. The network of Polish Underground State with lightning speed broke down, and if some escaped, it happened because change of occupation always causes some disorder.

However, despite this cost of blood, the people, who managed to survive, kept in memory the year 1944 as the most splendid year of their lives. A year of free words and press, of full intellectual life and the exchange of thoughts. A year of common trust and solidarity; the year of open war with belief in nearby victory. Without regard on price, such a year is worth to live or to die. Something like this must take place also in the past, only so one may understand this fragments of poems:

Comments about 1944 follow in next chapters, now this reflection show one point only, the organization model applied by Angus was not only impractical, copied from a book, but also disagreed with the spirit of time. It was either too late, or still premature.

Although Angus again elapsed with reality and did not notice in time, what happens, he felt responsible for the people he convinced to his idea and involuntarily put into trouble. He could not let such suspicions meet proper people. On the other side he had no idea what to do. Once, he was suspected of sexual harassment, when trying to set up a secret organization still in a childish age, despite such interpretation was a pure nonsense. He knew from this experience how difficult is to stop a gossip, when keeping secret. But then the slander dabbed only him, now the affair was worse. After many considerations he decided there remained only one way: to find a shield of a greater, recognized organization.

This was not easy. No sense going to common people, he had to seek a serious person with influence and a right to decide. Only the seeking, especially zealous, may arouse suspicions. As everybody knew, there existed some false organizations created and inspired by the Gestapo, e.g. "The Sword and Plow."

Precisely now Angus came back from the first of such meetings. He managed to gain, after desperate efforts, contact with Doctor Burda. Antony Burda was a teacher before the war aiding the village youth in earning education and so called civilization advancement, when learning in high or professional schools. Rather a coryphée, than an active leader of The People Motion (peasant’s party), to Angus he seemed a little petrified. Angus did not know, him being an authority and inspiration of a group of youth, editing in Ostrowiec the secret paper "For the better tomorrow." Anyway, the conversation was not a success. Dr. Burda admittedly heard Angus to the end, but did not make any promises. Also, he never responded afterwards. Depressed, Angus returned home with a light fever, he distinctly caught a chill. The first effort in the matter gave no result. The only good news was, his health corrected, neither bad weather nor wet legs affected him much. He went to bed sick, but the young organism recovered as new.

However, on the long run he could not succeed. No way, all what he tried was in vain. When also the next days effort were futile, he began to despair. Reeling like an eel in hot water, he almost tried, as tells a Polish saying, to bite himself in the bottom. Exactly the year 1944 and already end of 1943 was a time of uniting smaller organizations, the tiny joined the great, it was similar to recrystalization. Even the Home Army was created so, from many military organizations, outside remained only a slight part, the extreme Right and the Communists.

Angus took on, the ZSZ (Union of West Slavs) was neutral and represents only this one idea, proposes a sensible, judicious way, which may accept almost each agenda, political and military, because it appeals simply to the common reason. So, it could seek an understanding with everyone, remaining independent. A full union or inclusion was impossible, not acceptable to the people, who may be and probably were members of different organizations. From the start the candidates knew they could hold their convictions, if only they agree on this one key point. There was no way to pull them to any side. Sure, a perfect partner would be Home Army, also uniting diverse orientations and choices. A pity, he could not go to the formed Diversion Squad, but alas, he did not know where to, sure not on the backyard sport field behind the Traugutt Street any more. A mistake, he never associated them with the priest Rucinski, not bright enough. If he did, there would be an happy ending, another story.

Instead, when impasse stayed, he sought out Stefan, a colleague from the secret classes if a different group and partner at chess, about which he knew already that he has connections with NSZ (National Armed Forces). Angus, like his father, shared the national democratic opinions, however somehow he had not much conviction to NSZ. Doubts resulted from because the underground paper "Informator" (An Informant), of which he read a few copies, seemed not serious, at a low intellectual level. It reminded him of the prewar gutter-news and a few times he read there stories, supposedly from guerrilla, but in fact pure nonsense, the so-called joyful-creation. However he didn’t have a choice and asked for a contact with someone of rank, who may decide in organizational affairs. Stefan promised to fix this, but it was necessary to wait. After some time the contact was agreed at the right barrier of the bridge down the Żeromski Street. At 15 hours Angus had to throw in water a piece of wood and when some other walker does the same, propose a bet on a definite sum. However it turned out that this was useless, as amazed Angus saw near the one of well-known high fair-haired man, sharply playing occasionally poker in basement of Szumilas. He was equally good at volleyball, but on another sports fields, where usually played young people from the workers colony. In both plays Angus admired him, but the proposal, of joining ZSZ into NSZ he could not accept (never mind the joke that even in abbreviation there was no need to change much). No way would all the members agree on the oath NSZ. He asked for time to deliver the proposal.

Nevertheless sometimes lucky cases happen. One day, while walking by the riverside along the main avenue near the bridge on Stone River, Angus met professor Niedzielski from the business school. Without any rational cause, he felt a sudden impulse, that this is the right person, to whom he may turn. For the second time in his life he experienced such, from the default of better word let’s name this a flash of the sub-conscious. The first time it happened was at the sports field for volleyball, in the grove below Traugutt Street, but then he did not catch the moment, and lacked the initiative. He felt then to find the men he sought, but as the time passed and he remained silent, he could only regret his lost chance. Now again, he felt sure of such inner conviction, although without any reason. Now he could not let it pass, and anyway had not many chances. He walked through the avenue and bowed. Niedzielski greeted too, in distinctly friendly manner.

"Sir, may I take a little of your time?" - asked Angus. "I have a serious problem, a little unusual, explaining and excusing myself may take a quarter or two."

"Well, what is this about?"

"To tell it straight, it is confidential. I would ask you, all what I tell may remain between us. If that subject does not interest you, please forget it all and forever."

"In such case I propose, we go to my home. I will devote so much time as necessary and we may talk quietly and in private," - answered Niedzielski, regular drawing his words, and still friendly. From now on, Angus’ presentiment changed to certainty.

"I did already settle all for today. The trifles can wait." Niedzielski lead on Angus in direction, where at the beginning included the Business School, in the wooden barracks of Mechanics School, and then further along the so called Opatów Road. He lived there, already at the end of municipal buildings, in a little apartment with entrance by stairs in arranged in row buildings from red brick. In the apartment they found the wife of professor. He introduced Angus, what she accepted with a light surprise, as something unexpected. Then she apologized telling that she has still a little to do in the kitchen. Angus had a transient impression, as if letting them alone was a natural reflex, typical after husband brought in someone, it was the introduction which seemed rather atypical.

Władysław Niedzielski was, unless an outright genius, at least an outstanding representative of capable self-taught scholars. Born into a poor family, the only preparatory school he attended was compulsory. He lost parents and from the age of 14 years old and he had to work on his own keeping. At the age of 18 years he decided to get an education; however, he had neither the time, nor money for study in grammar-school. In one year he prepared and got the secondary-school certificate as extern (no doubt a result much better that achieved Martin Eden), one may only regret that he left not memoirs of this period. If Angus he was until now proud of his results, and chiefly that remaking speedy the agenda he distanced his colleagues, he would never grow to the heels of Niedzielski. Only newly he completed in almost four months, Latin and Polish language compelling by his own effort acceleration tempo by the most demanding, he judged, which was perfect among the professors of grammar-school. But he cold never compare with such an effort.

However, this huge effort caused the undernourished student in bad living conditions to develop tuberculosis. However, despite the bad disease, the period of study became already more passable, and he distinguished in so a striking manner that soon he received scholarship, and then the post of assistant on faculty of history. Before the beginning of the war he won the doctor’s degree and stabilized position of an academic tutor as well as a wife. In 1940 he could expect only trouble, sound reason advised to go out from Krakow. In 1941 he began to teach in Business School in a dimension of only 16 hours a week (from 14 up began so called regular post giving right to Working ID). He had still other duties, about which more will come next.

In the past year, Niedzielski did not change much and looked exactly as Angus memorized him from school: Still young, 27 or 28 years of age, high fair-haired man with almost ashen, sparse haircut, pale and sunken in face. This is not full impression, but enough to tell that in business school Niedzielski had the nickname "Christos in civil' and another "Corpse on holiday." Without the least doubts, this was the most cadaverous face, which Angus saw, which was more impressive, than a genuine dead body. He spoke preferably slow, stretching words a little through the nose, but he had the gift of precision. It would be difficult to find someone who could be able so exactly to assert each thought.

On the classes in business school, he upheld not a proper discipline and even did not try, teaching only those who wanted to learn. From the others he demanded only, to behave orderly so, not disturb learning. In class II A, he taught the Polish language, correspondence (business) as well as German language. From the essay on introductory exam, Angus had without questions and further checking the best estimations (of five), however he paid less attention except the useful, writing of letters which has its own rules. Instead about the second, altogether unreasonably, he had also a good degree, although as before and consistently did never learn the German language. Only past it stuck in his ears a little from the futile efforts of mother, and besides he knew words and enunciations about the news of war and commentaries about the fronts. If pressed, Angus could recite such well-turned sentence of news made up, but fitting to each context, consisting from typical phrases, but maliciously paraphrased. It the last semester, Niedzielski conducted short course about cooperative movement, interesting a little group, including Angus. Beside the bases it embraced also history and establishments of cooperative motion, only brief references, making wish of further information and arouse the interest. Anyway Niedzielski put not further demands and treated this as a supplement.

Mrs. Małgorzata Niedzielska, was about a couple years younger from her husband and almost two heads lower, plumper, but only in comparison, not general. On the beginning Angus rarely saw her, and almost at all did not hear, only later he noticed that she had also encyclopedic memory and strong opinions, perhaps even more engaged, as her husband. She seemed a little like Mrs. Piesewicz, not by looks, but an enthusiast full of fervor and sacrifices. Only she had all this hoard of enthusiasm placed on her husband. She looked on him, how some would look on a prophet; without the least doubt she accepted each word, and surely she adored and reverenced all thoughts. Niedzielski met her when she was still an able student, and he an assistant. All the way to the end of studies, they kept their connection in secret, and at once after that, they married. Next she resigned from own career and devoted to husband, recognizing him a more valuable mind. If Niedzielski gradually recovered from heavy disease and still lived, gradually bettering his condition, this without doubt he owed to her efforts and protection. She cared about him like a husband and simultaneously as a kid, because they had no children. She shared in all he did and helped him, not as wife but like a daughter to an important and wise father. This even did not give the impression of a sacrifice. She merely lived within the life of husband resigning from his own. At times it seemed straight in religious range, almost fanatical.

Now only for a moment she went out from kitchen bringing two hot mugs, with tea and a more complicated brew for husband, he has to drink something warm. Then she disappeared.

Angus extracted the text pages, now hidden deeper, not in a wallet anymore, and gave them to Niedzielski. He began shorten arguments and idea, but Niedzielski preferred to read oneself, he told, that Angus writing does not cause him difficulties. (In fact Angus tried to copy especially distinctly, anyway, for first time he met with such a kind opinion.)

Finishing, Niedzielski told him: "Well, do you know that Benesz and Sikorski, already signed a contract about union? Now it is only a preliminary agreement, after the war end it has to be accepted through the parliaments of both countries. But one can expect that with recommendations of Governments on emigration and interim councils, replacing temporarily parliaments, it shall progress without difficulty. After victorious war confirmation of them will be a simple formality. Not one can refuse the logic to this project, concurrent with yours, and the fragment about Western Slaws you wrote interesting literary."

 Capsule: The inborn, inherited features, if they exist.

The first written reference about the Slaws, probably these, which went away from the river-basin of Vistula and Odra south, to Moravia and Czechs and after a longtime, a part of them to the Balkans and further, tells so:

(An abbreviation), “They have neither kings, nor princes, but gather all to council without weapons, only with sticks (as arguments?). They will neither battle, nor pick the most urgent decision, even in danger, till they agree all the way and next hold to this decision.” This is a direct, primary (aboriginal) democracy. It was just astonishing, how little changed features of these people in so many centuries, Only alas, why did they resign of the sticks? With weapons outlawed, council gatherings changed to the “Wiec” and next “Sejm”; however, they could never agree, with sticks it would go easier. A full agreement degenerated to a “Liberum Veto,” meaning one protest would make void all decisions. A freedom of one became an impediment to all, reducing the idea of democracy to an absurd.

- "I have had not a blue idea. But if so, the more need to try, this idea shall become popular, universal. It does not do what decided already the governments, even the proper and popular, after war it can all change. Inner affairs speak stronger to the citizens. Firm, settled, public opinion would foreclose the issue." – said Angus

Next Angus added how the situation looks, which signals he received from members of ZSZ. He explained, that he disclosed never as a founder, but pretended be one of the members, performing the orders of the organization. He quoted steps, which lately he picked up.

"I suggest you come again day after tomorrow, about two hours after midday. I think that tomorrow I will talk in this affair. I expect no problems." Thus ended the first conversation with Niedzielski.

But already the next day Angus received news from the preceding contact (NSZ), that neither NSZ, nor anybody else, had objections to his person, or organization. This was the second time in life he’d heard that he was checked through AK intelligence and found clean. Again, he learned what he already know before, but the second time it did not make such a great impression, as last summer in Michniów. He slightly surprised - the NSZ has access to information of AK intelligence, even if the both organizations do not corroborate well? He used the moment to deliver the answer, that local ZSZ found impossible to join the NSZ as proposed, because the members cannot accept the oath of NSZ. Many the members of ZSZ are also members of different other groups, they declare backing of only one political idea, but that is all. Pushing them to another military organization is unrealistic. Many, probably a greater part, would not agree and go away, and this would only tear ZSZ apart with no chance of rebuilding the structure. Negotiations may concern only a loose collaboration, but the ZSZ organizations must remain independent - all or nothing. Of course, the collaboration may, with time, become closer.

As mentioned, Angus never wanted a union with another organization, only a loose collaboration and protection. He did not say so at once, because this could antagonize the bigger partner, but keeping up an illusion, said, he was only a messenger delivering propositions of a higher center. He expressed his sorrow, when his interlocutor said that NSZ cannot accept a permanent bound on this base. However, there may be possible a collaboration with a youth group called OWP (The Camp of Big Poland). This is a national-radical annex to Endecia and NSZ, he proposes, without any ties one or a few members of ZSZ may came to meetings and discussions, to experience and develop the contact and get information for both sides. Angus told he shall deliver the offer. After fixing a contact with Niedzielski he wanted gently break these negotiations, on the other side the new proposal seemed interesting. He still had no definite political preferences, but up to now, he considered they may be national.

The next day, after midday, he again visited professor Niedzielski as arranged. News, that activity of ZSZ causes none objections and the case fully cleared, was not surprising, although Niedzielski did not mention AK.

"The Shire (District) Representative of Government on Emigration has no reservations to your initiative. If in conspiratorial conditions happens some misunderstanding and anyone meets unjust reproaches, you can appeal to the county office, most easily by me. Officially this action presents citizen information, coincident with the policy of the Polish Government on Emigration; this settles the matter. I may add my personal remark that releasing of information by way of a people chain is an interesting idea and it expands, so it passed the practical exam. But I suspect that recruitment of active members may not go too well. Surely you have not previously collected organizational experience and did not think over this affair properly. I for example, would have surely suspected the worst, reading in any leaflet that I can send my name and personal data, to some, mysterious if secret archive—and this without regard on assurances about 100 percent safety. Perhaps, if you find few volunteers, this may settle in another manner. This is now difficult to change; I suggest to concentrate on the first aim, and resign from creating a permanent organization."

"On the other hand, I understand your way of thinking. For example PPS (Polish Socialist Party), always took a difference between the members sympathizing and full members. And by the way, what do you judge about PPS and have you ever thought about approaching them?"

In fact Angus was not much surprised hearing this proposal. This was the further part of something that he’d already felt in the air.

"I think, I have other convictions," he said. "I feel above all a Pole and I am dedicated to national values."

"If you will you get familiar with the newest history, you will notice that no another party has so beauty and full card about freedom-fighting, independence and patriotism, as the PPS. Maybe her doings were not always well thought over, and at times showed too much enthusiasm, too little sensibleness, but surely no motion cannot level up, if it concerns generosity, self-sacrifice, and devotion of the people."

This was a well-aimed argument.

"To tell the truth, I am not familiar and do not know the matter."

? "But probably you heard this known saying of Pilsudski that he got off from the tram PPS on the stop called Independence. So this could happen only because PPS put first fighting for freedom and independence, and only next forming of a just society already in Free Poland. From the moment of establishing PPS, by initiative of Bolesław Limanowski, an ardent patriot, the congress in Paris accepted such hierarchy of priorities. One from arguments was that in the conditions of slavery any efforts of building equality shall be futile. One could tell there existed two camps and they chose contrary ways. PPS engaged all the way, favoring independence war. Instead SDKPIL (The Social Democratic Party of Polish Kingdom and Lithuania), on the contrary, accepted that first it shall try to form a socialist state, including all folks and countries, in perspective all world, then the nationality will become aimless. They named this internationalism and the war about independence declared superfluous, even an error. Resigning from national identify, SDKPIL gained few members among Poles, and the person actively engaged in politics, changed address and the activist preferably came over to other countries, mainly Russia or Germany".

Capsule: For example, the notorious Rose Luxembourg announced the resignation of Greaterpoland and the earths of Prussian annexation to Germany, to get popularity when going there. Sure, the Poles considered this an outright treason, spiced with sacrilege. She made a big impact in Spartakus, before stalled and ruthlessly assassinated through the members of "Freikorps." (Meaning the mercenaries recruited among former soldiers after WW II. They spilled still for years German blood on German earth. How mentioned, Hitler began his career as agent for the propaganda or advertising, in one of the "Freikorps.")

"My God," thought Angus, "if that is that and here we are, the unlucky Grabiowski made a bad mistake, stepped in a trap without an exit. Not a chance to fight a war for independence with communists and take an example of Pilsudski, it would be a contradiction in principle. Whatever, communists are the heirs of SDKPIL, more precise, a direct developmental line, the same ideas and people, not counting the exchange of generations because of age and chiefly, of killing. One or the other."

But this thought only flashed through his mind, because now Niedzielski pulled out his specially prepared surprise.

"I have here something that perhaps may interest you. This is a periodic Poland and the Middle Europe, edited as every two weeks publication by The Delegate of Polish Government on Emigration in Warsaw. The edition is not big and rather rare, but it is representative. It concerns the coming Czech-Polish Union and probably more, because possibly it is the foundation to which may join still other little states and nations. Of course, they can still appear big difficulties. For example Slovaks strongly support the idea of union with Poland and pressed on the Czechs, their voices decisively influenced the contract Benesz-Sikorski. But on other side there exists an old antagonism between Slovaks and Hungary, which too are traditionally our friends and gladly we would see them as partners. I propose, do read this itself."

Angus never mentioned that his private vision from this memorable night, when he decided to launch ZSZ, appeared exactly like this. A strong union state, copying the design of Jagiellon, in which different nations could safe live together and to develop, keeping one’s identity. He could only feel happy; this idea goes in better and more competent hands. Lastly he was nobody and therefore searched anonymity, and now it turned out that same idea was present with great names. As before, there remained a need to support a good deed. With great interest and gratefulness he borrowed this newspaper and on occasion a few others, on quick return.

So this way began his near contact with the underground press. Niedzielski, after arrival to Ostrowiec, besides his duty in PPS, connected with so called Żuławski circle (some named them intellectuals), was the deputy of The Delegate of Government on the county (administrative Opatów-Ostrowiec District) from the shoulder of PPS. The Delegate was a representative of People Movement (peasants). Mostly in Galicia survived the traditions of Centrolew, wherever first fiddle belonged to the People Motion (peasantry party), his deputy was a socialist, and when the Delegate a socialist, his deputy became a peasantry representative. Principally the civilian administration of the underground State remained separated from the military and they should never make contact, although this, of course, was not always possible. For example, the Command of Home Army in Opatów-Ostrowiec shire all-time functioned only in Ostrowiec while The Government Delegate of administrative Shire (County, District) Opatów, alternating, partly in Office Site Opatów, and partly in Ostrowiec. According to the rules, nobody from civilian underground should contact with military and conversely, if only through a special secret line. This, of course, was the in-coming ideal solution and there happened exceptions, but basically nobody should know anybody from the other branch. Niedzielski, at some time as deputy of the county Delegate, pedantically followed the regulations. However this role passed him badly, after a time he began to gather most important sources and to prepare materials for writing the history of war and occupation, chiefly of political affairs in Polish lands.

Of course an extensive and thrilling subject, giant work, not a hope he may manage this in all detail, but the task pulled and absorbed him mightily. More so, as Niedzielski had the professional education, training, competence, and an access to sources which grew still more plentiful in supply, when he officially asked for them. First he pressed all coils and levers, to get most of accessible press, he read and set apart the positions, directing a part to special archive, and some he kept ready in-house. Gradually he withdrew from all the major works, as proxy of Shire Delegate underground office and in PPS, remaining formally there only because by this way he could influence the coming of underground press. It is accurate to tell that in 1944 on Polish earth it went out published in whole about 700 titles, with some 550 nearly regular. With this, to Niedzielski got up to 350; the more important regularly, the other occasionally. There happened even so unique and brought to with unbelievable effort papers, like "Gryf Pomorski" (Pomerania Griffon) and "Słowo" (Word) of Wilno. Also some printings edited in Soviets, and thrown down next on Polish earths with false date and the place of emission. About remaining periodicals lost on the way, he could guess some of the contents from references in other papers received.

For Angus, this mean start of an unusual period. He could read this all, he lent whole kilograms of conspiratorial papers, on average twice a week, often three or more. For a boy who from early childhood grew up in a world of written words and this world treated as more real from the existing, yet next several years suffered a famine of reading, this was a top delight. The bundles of papers, divided on not too big flat packs he attached to his body under his dress so, he could, safe transport them by calm, lone routes at the right time of day. Besides, he also tried to be helpful. It happened that he delivered press for Niedzielski or he helped in transport and transfer. As usually, well oriented in events and trifles, thanks to visual memory he could always show the place where the news he read was located.

Visiting Niedzielski, Angus spent much time on discussions. Niedzielski had a rare gift of conversation, treating interlocutor as an equal. Angus already once had contact with an outstanding mind, his first teacher of mathematics. But then he met one accenting his superiority, in time became familiar with it and after took no further notice. Here he felt honored, all the time. Niedzielski spoke slowly and with substance, without the superfluous turning over every word, Angus had to pay attention, to catch and keep thoughts, as Niedzielski did not repeat them, how many do, for emphasis. The mental horizon he kept was extreme high and bright, with encyclopedic knowledge. Not only including events and facts, but also their mutual connections, all the prehistory. Angus believed and so others pronounced too, that he was well-read. But there he met someone who had many times major capacity and in addition not of heaped up shreds of information, but an orderly whole. In short, Angus had found a new guru of a big format. A genuinely great mind, which working he could watch, expert and calm, and nevertheless admitted to him an equal right to think independently.

All the time Angus kept a full prudence and secret, even with his parents, not to mention the colleagues, including Matthew. He may have asked for permission and if granted, to pull in Matthew, the boy dreamed of aid in underground and sure deserved a full trust. But as before he had a barrier to enter the town, so anyway could not help with the transport of papers. However, there happened one case, when Angus violated the rules of conspiracy. This happened about the 20th, or a day or two later, when after some delay came the first news about the Polish victory by Monte Cassino. In the future there was much talk about the battle; some made the reproaches about too hasty poured Polish blood. Now looking from perspective, the criticism was a pure nonsense, started by communists. Sure for the Poles in the country, this news was like water to those dying of thirst.

The memory of those killed in action shall remain in reverence, but one has also to remember, at the same time one, two or even tree thousands of common people perished daily in the occupied Poland. Without praise, often unknown, even the close family did not know of their doom. These, who still survived, needed such news, which may to keep up the spirit, allow the hopes, or only to make the death easier. Merely too difficult to describe the euphoria, shared by Angus and all the Poles, at least the ones, with whom he spoke. Agreed, there were some who did not know, or to whom the current terror and anxiety left no perspective.

There is not a grain of truth in the biased supposition from the time of Soviet occupation, the victory was a fake, much over-advertised. It was the fifth attempt, before his luck tried, e.g. the Canadians with Americans (twice), the French Foreign Legion with Morocco and Algeria soldiers and the NZ and British troops, with the blossom of India Infantry, the Gurkha Rifles. The opposite side took the cream of Wehrmacht, the 1st Division of "Fallschirmjaegers" (parachute troops), a famous elite of Germans. Admittedly, they had beyond the days of celebrity, when 160 of them jumped on the supposedly impregnable fortress, "Eben Emmanuel" and took POW of 4,000 men. After the Crete contest, losing the aerial advantage, Germany could not use the Para Division according to primary task, employed them merely as an exclusive infantry. Still in Africa the saved Rommel from captivity and in crisis turned result of a few battles. The German newspapers simply choked with writing of their successes. Anyway, they had not much to boast about now.

Many armies, most exactly the German, based on an iron discipline, inoculated from the start to soldiers by force, by bestial methods of training. But even there existed some exceptions, applied to elite troops, as parachutist and submarine commandos. General Student, who formed the Division, did this on a new basis. Relations between soldiers and officers, also between officers and him rested not on a blind discipline, but a comradeship. He recognized not the rank, but the best competence. Admittedly parachutists did not speak to officers like colleagues, as in the Gloomy squad and similar, Angus heard in Polish guerrilla. How mentioned, Gloomy from the first moment accepted the choice of commandant by soldiers, if they wanted follow him. Possibly a psychological catch, but after he passed the exam and proved he surpasses all, he never had any problem with discipline. On Gloomy nod they would leap in a probable death, step in fire or water (surely an exaggeration, but true with a small chance for survival).

The troops of the former Res Publica, the old Union State, especially the exclusive heavy cavalry, next also some part of the light, recognized and applied the equality too. A full-value soldier, named not a colleague but companion, took the command not exactly by vote, but choosing and next following these, to whom they trust. So did and even now do the mercenaries, including the mentioned Lisowczyk riders, the most effective at their time. In short, a discipline, if needed at training, but with well-worthy soldiers the sound reason may replace the blind obedience. With the best this becomes the only important rule.

A best proof, how good were the "Para", bad luck for the armies storming about half year Monte Cassino, bad look also to the Poles. However, the Poles too were exceptional. Unless not so excellent soldiers, they surpassed all with motivation. Nobody can tell about all of them, people are different and their lives too; so are their motives. But for the majority, this was a turn of fate. Defeat, despair, long way around half of the world, trouble, efforts and sufferings, all for this yearning to return to their country, fight again and take revenge. Here they were at last, reached and had before the mortal enemy, who beat them before, took away their country and now obstructed the way. After years again a chance, if even they still did not manage to reach their country, at least they managed to reach the Germans, stand with them eye to eye. Maybe the Germans dominated with training and experience, so with the position, maybe suffered smaller toll, but nothing counted any more. This was the final game, the entire exchange of figures and pawns, with running of time, chances and losses leveled up. Already the first Polish attack reached so high in mountains, as none before. The second conquered many average, middle peaks, although Germans managed to hold this highest and their counterattack recovering a part of ground. The third would doubtless reach the top, but hit into emptiness, the Germans withdrew. Sure a wise decision, the possibilities of defense exhausted, and they had not exactly so strong reason, to perish in this place with rubbing in enemy, from which the joined-in battle squads could not tear away. They withdrew, when already they could not conquer, if only perish killing also the Poles. True what trumpeted by the German propaganda: the German paratroopers on Monte Cassino were never beaten, but they withdrew according with plan before the final attack, which hit the vacuum. But true also, this happened after a shock, which caused two preceding Polish attacks and in moment, when the likelihood of further defense dwindled.

Not in the least did this decrease the Polish victory. More so, for the population of the country this victory had a huge impact and much needed. Great news, which after longtime the Poles again could hear and talk about.

This news crammed Angus with so much enthusiasm the first and only time he forgot all about conspiracy principles. Detaching from the bundle of periodicals a few of "The Information Bulletins," he gave them to his parents. His father, who like Angus read speedily, next went out to digest the news alone. His mother found the spectacles and plunged in reading. It was a late evening, shop and home with closed window shutters and doors, all dropped in twilight, all silence and calmness. Suddenly an extensive clattering to the side door resounded, near the kitchen-stove. Mother, judging that this may be some delayed client, asks what he wants. She heard: "Feldgendarmerie! Aufmachen, schnell!!" (Military police! Open, quick!).

Déja vu, or rather déja vecu. For mother this was a repetition of an event that once ended in a concentration camp. The only difference this time was if the Germans should now find the newspapers, it would mean a total loss of all the family. They would never go out from the camp.

In the kitchen oven there was still a little glowing red-heat after supper, so never mind the clatter, mother pushed in the newspapers and moved with a poker, till they flared up. Next she put a kettle on and only then opened the door. With luck, her good German language lent to calm the gendarmes. She explained that already preparing to sleep, she had to dress. She did this convincingly, gendarmes only cautioned, the black roller-blinds are not properly pulled down and if it was not them, but another patrol, someone other may merely shoot at a window, showing a chink with light. Mother thanked them for care and expressed her gratefulness with a bottle of monopoly vodka, not genuine, but at least properly sealed up.

Mother, of course, did not know that in Angus’ bed was at least a several times bigger cargo of illegal papers, called commonly "bibuła" (blotting-paper). This time Angus could not return the whole bundle. He wondered how to explain this event, and lastly admitted that he destroyed a few papers. Lucky, "The Information Bulletin" was easy to replace. Not a rare, difficult accessible paper vanished. Angus instead of a reprimand, heard a comfort, not worry to much. No use losing the time, when there is still so much to do.

Well, it was exceptional time. Even before the war never happened so much motion, intellectual ferment. Efflorescence of editors and secret publishing houses, discussions, contestations, spiritual enzymes, interest, what happens all around the world. Not only about the war, but also the future, including the philosophy, morality, even religion, up to limit of fantasy. So thought Angus, as he read after the front news and before the postwar possibilities, that in the USA one of the broadcasting stations (Ohio?), almost yearlong runs on atomic energy. Angus did not believe this. He expected, this may be possible only after 50 years or so, like the atom bomb (this too the illegal press discussed). But on the other side, between Verne and the real submarines there followed a gap of several decades. Simultaneously, the same papers considered the problem of equality in the future free country. Over the agrarian reform, accepted by the Government and approved by the Council of National Unity, temporary substituting the parliament. It become a law with binding power, still it could carried out with just compensation to the former field owners. These are only some examples, there was still a lot more of news.

Nevertheless at the time Angus several times went to meeting of one, and a few times another circle of MWP (Youth of Great Poland). He attended the circles suggested by Stefan. Commonly the gathering took two to three hours embracing a lecture prepared by a speaker that induced the theme and next lead the discussion. In comparison to conversations with Niedzielski, the difference of level so great that it was almost embarrassing. It began from general story about Polish League, later renamed on National Democracy (National Democratic Party), about the role of Z. Miłkowski (T.T. Jeż) and next reformed by an outstanding leader Roman Dmowski. It followed not clear added, but distinct suggestion that precisely Dmowski, disappointed with the default of energy and the penetrating force of the old generation, put in the pool young blood. In short, the National Democratic Party descended to dogs; the future belongs now to ONR. More such nonsense followed.

 Capsule: Strange compatibility of the program of both side extremists about future borders: the fratricidal fighting of extremists from the extreme right and left wing, including or touching also Jews.

However, there appeared new features, unexpected and unknown to Angus. In fact, the ONR as first blazed the propaganda for a hefty push of Polish border to the west, retrieval of the historic, so called Piast lands. The Polish Government in exile never demanded so much of German territory. Well, the unprecedented Hitler assault, war of terror without any civilized rules and laws except bandit ones, should effect some correcting of border. But never as punishment, basically to the ethnic line, at the points where Poland became badly wronged, or where it may result with next conflicts. Polish Government after the victory, at the peace treaty would press the claims to East Prussia not only because, this until the second half of the 17th century belonged to Poland and had a high percent of Mazur population. Until the WW I many Polish organizations edited the Mazur papers, preserving Polish language, which survived not only in villages, but also in towns, with Olsztyn. Still, the main point was the matter of the so called Corridor and separated East Prussia, Hitler used as pretext of the war. Besides Poland wanted to recover Opole Silesia and a part of the High Silesia, which after the plebiscite remained in Germany, although the three Silesia revolts showed an ethnic Polish majority. The unfavorable result of referendum followed the worst possible time-limit, when Poland seemed beaten in war with Russia and it looked that in a few months all shall be lost. It was similar in East Prussia: on the other side of border the people saw the Red Army, smoke, villages in fire and human inferno. Now the time has come to settle this matter again, take the lands with Polish majority, or now a minority, but recently with majority, changed next by constraint and persecutions. Besides the already named, it concerned the shire of Bytów and some minor pieces of the Greaterpoland, where the border remained on the last frontline, and of Pomerania. Especially in the shire of Lębork, where the Kaszub's lived tight up to the town, and further mixed with akin Sławińces.

Sure it was a catch designed for the quick gaining of social and political influence, copied from Nazi. The ONR wanted to outbid all other parties by showing, well, revealing a big booty—the possibility of enrichment by robbery. As compensation for the robbery of Poland there should follow a similar robbery of the Germans lands. They noticed the call of Hitler to German soldiers "take the booty" and how popular it made him after the at first unwillingly accepted start of the war. Next, this would solve all economic problems, supply the houses and workshops and new farms for the impoverished people, create new ways of careers for the young and able, to set up a strong, so called "middle class". To the moral objections, ONR answered the Germans, as first, began the robbery. They took by force all possessions of millions of Poles, displaced them from Greaterpoland, Pomerania, and other western provinces, and now again do the same in the rest of Poland. Not to mention the people displaced for slavery work and illegally pressed into German industry, war production, and agriculture. So now it is just and proper to let them taste their own medicine, and apply to them the same rules that they introduced.

Anyway, who talks about a robbery? For the least decades, almost a century Germany, precisely Prussia, robbed the whole of Europe and even if they lost some war, they held firm the profits. This was a direct encouragement for further robbery, and the last time to stop this. Unless the victims can get some indemnity, pass the laws and procedures to do justice, the bandits may go on with the plunder. It was hard to check, what the exact losses of Poland are, maybe only some separate parts, as the possessions of about two million of the displaced people and more taken, without any legal order, their estates and enterprises. He worst, but most profitable, printing of worthless money used for compulsory payments, may remain only a guess. But the worth of German property in the old Polish, so called Piast, lands may go on account of these claims, considering that many the victims do not live there anymore, it should help the survivors.

Angus later discussed this matter with Niedzielski and they agreed that such attitude is unbecoming for civilized people. If Poles behaved like Nazis, they would not be any better. Never should they use the same methods, for which they denounced the Germans.

However independently from moral regards, Angus, seeing the young people on gatherings of MWP circles, noticed that these motives found and drew many young minds that lacked former life perspectives. Now ONR and MWP displayed to them a pleasant vision to enter the German country, take their houses or apartments with all property, also the business, shops or workshops, farms, whatever—anything remunerative. They shall put the Germans in concentration camps and after a time to railway wagons and displace them. Exactly as they did with the Poles. Then take all goods and property for the new settlers. They never considered that recrimination shall not fall way on the culprits, but on another, mainly innocent people. No way leveling up the wrongs by collective responsibility and collective punishment, it would be multiplying them. MWP and NSZ swelled with new members, pseudo-intelligentsia and even some untouchables, but mostly patriotic, proper people with ambitions exceeding the real plans and no hope for a success. Here they found a promise for a rosy future, by a similar way to that shown by Hitler - by looting and robbery.

Seemingly a paradox, but in fact logical, the propaganda slogans of extreme right wing word for word repeated and supported the extreme left, communists. PPR and People Guard, later called People Army, had even fewer members than ONR and NSZ and too made up importance with excessive fantasy. They keep up the appearances, by classifying groups of umpteen as companies, some teens as battalions, a couple of hundreds a brigade or better. But PPR and GL, later AL had a serious problem, being not an authentic self-reliance organization, but made up by the foreign power, serving the Soviets. Chapter VII mentioned lose groups of Communists, which did not join the resistance, because Soviets were at the time the allies of the Nazis. However, they awaited a signal from Moscow and the arrival of the announced Initiative Group, which with Commintern consent, may restore the dissolved Communist Party of Poland. Well, there arrived not one, but several such Groups, which murdered each other up, like in a gangster film. Anyway, their primary task was to persuade Poles, best for them is to leave the East half of Poland permanently to the Soviets. This concerned nearly half of the Polish territory; almost all of what Stalin got from Hitler’s hand.

The people expected, as Germany attacked Soviets, causing them from the Hitler camp to change sides and come on the side of Coalition, the partition of Poland between Germany and Soviets happens outdated. In fact, Soviets recognized the bargain Ribbentrop-Mołotow (called the brigands pact) to be null and void. It was easier, as anyway the lands annexed to Soviets came now to be reigned by Germans. The front went for hundreds, next for a thousand and hundred' of kilometers east. Soviets made an alliance with Poland, but Stalin avoided any distinct statement about the Poland border, passing the affair till after the war. However, when the Soviets recovered and the Red Army approached Poland, it became clear that Stalin wanted never to resign from his share of booty gained with Hitler. Using the pretext of Katyń, he broke the Pact with Poland and all diplomatic relations. It is now a public knowledge that all he said in this matter was a lie. But for him it was a meaningless, small incident. Anyway, he killed in millions and teens of millions. Shooting 20,000 officers from a country he bested and who may become a center of resistance, was for him simply logical and necessary. About a year later, in private conversation with Churchill, with a smile he mentioned that a simple manner to cure the Germans from militarism would be to shoot some fifty, top hundred thousands of German officers. After seeing the nervous shock of Churchill, for Stalin baffling, and the immature reservations and protest of his interlocutor, he turned his proposal into a joke.

To the question of Polish Government about the fate of killed officers Stalin could answer just anything. Already the form of the note showed that Polish Government on Exile does not want at the moment to press this affair and shall accept each explanation likely. There was no way to avoid this step, regarding public opinion, yet anyway nothing could return of life the murdered captives. Using this note as offensive slander by the culprit was the prime of hypocrisy, but Stalin wanted to tear the standing contract. If not the affair of Katyń, he would find another pretext. After breaking the pact and all diplomatic relations to Polish Government, Stalin demanded, the border of Poland-Soviet took along the so-called Curzon Line, nearby the line Ribbentrop—Molotov.

The Curzon Line proposed Great Britain on July 11, 1920, when Poland-Soviets war turned near a catastrophe. Red Army approached Warsaw and it seemed that definitive defeat and occupying of all Poland is only a question of few months. The Government of Poland accepted the proposal, but Soviets repulsed this. Their aim was not an ethnic border, any border at all, but to conquer and occupy all Poland and stretching of the arm (or army) to the German revolution. This should be the first step to mastering of Europe, and next the remaining world. However in the middle of August the situation changed. The Poles beat the Red Army and negotiated and settled in the Riga treaty the border.

(George Nathaniel Marquis and first Baron Curzon of Kedleston still in 19th century passed an authority in the affairs of Russia and Asia. In 1919 he got the ministry of foreign affairs after Arthur J. Balfour, but in fact in his responsibility mended in the contemporary premier, Lloyd George, known from his prejudice to Poland. Perhaps it was a result of dislike to all Wilson initiatives, also because the role of friend and the ally of Poland took France first.)

In the Riga Treaty, Poland purposely confined her claims, she could then demand and receive more, borders of ancient Res Publica reached without comparison farther east. She agreed to take only a fraction of former territory. On the other side, even on this fragment ethnographic relations tangled. The ancient Res Publica was a multinational state. There was a long period of captivity at the time when Russia employing cruel methods of pressure, changed the ethnic configuration. In 1920 and 1921, on these lands there was not a distinct national majority, the greater groups of population according to their numbers were Poles, Ukrainians, Byelorussians, Jews, and Russian. Besides this were many smaller, like Lithuanians, Tatars, Karaims (the remainder of long-standing Chazars), Armenians and others. Admittedly, Poles formed the greatest group; however, some terrain contained a dense Ukrainian population, others Byelorussian and of course, some Polish and some Lithuanian, the latest preferred a sovereign state to the old Union. Russians and Yews lived more scattered. In fact, neither lord Curzon, despite the fame nimbus of a great globe-trotter nor Lloyd George never knew the difference and distinguished these nationalities. The Curzon line covered about the border of the so called Congress Kingdom, later the Over-Vistula Country, as drawn by the Russian conquerors by force. All the territories taken by Russia became intensively russificated. However, this began in the congress Kingdom later and with occasional interruptions, wails on the lands of old Res Publica further east all the time and with more pressure, sometimes inhuman. No wonder the effects became bigger there.

The collapse of a multinational state sure caused a growing antagonism between their nationalities. Sure, some antagonism did exist always, but until all worked well and proper, this overlooked in the name of common prosperity, although some minor crises appeared. But when such a state breaks, and with this the common interest and prosperity vanishes, the partners accuse one the other. Imagine for a moment, the United States would become defeated, by example in contest with Soviets. Right away it would start a disorder, quarrels, inner fighting, the white protestants of Anglo-Saxon origin would heap guilt on the dark-haired Latinos, never considering the exact nationality, placing together Mexicans with Puerto Rican people, Brazilians and so on. The whites against the dark skinned; the Irish would beat the Jews and so on.

Anyway it is hard to tell, what it is the cause and what outcome, what was first, the hen or the egg. If the collapse of the state propelled the national hostility, or precisely the home disputes and quarrels caused the defeat of ancient Res Publica. Maybe it is a self-propelling machine, a sort of a vicious circle. However, all travelers from foreign countries said the Poles were extreme tolerant, most of them considered there was too much liberty, causing disorder and anarchy, which was the true cause of calamity. Afterwards, persecutions from invaders created Polish nationalism and caused retreat from the federalist ideas. Disillusioned with bad results, the reduced the idea to another model, a state uniform national and best with one religion, clean Polish and catholic. It is a natural human reaction, transferring the guilt to the other, strangers, to whom they should never trust. Comparatively long, all the way to 1864/5 (end of rising) held the solidarity of Poles and Lithuanians. However, frustrated by the calamities, even these ties broke. Poles reproached Lithuanians for isolating themselves and lack on engagement and generosity, Lithuanian Poles for trying to dominate and default of respect for their suzerainty. After 1865 an increasing number, more and more people wanted to tear the links, it reached a point of open hostility. This obviously persuaded the Russia, a common enemy, nothing surprising, a known and often used principle, "divide and impera." They tried this before, but up to the time without success.

Considering this, the right wing nationals for years wanted to renounce the east Borderlands, which according to them, spoiled the national unity and weakened the state and sure did not fit with the national pattern and ideas. Already by agreeing the Riga treaty, Polish delegate, a member of Endecia, despite his instructions accepted ceding of great areas, historically a part of old federal Res Publica. After the victory of Polish Army, Soviets would resign from Minsk and terrains east of it. They wanted only hold to Bobruisk and Smolensk, never expecting Poland may not press further claims and even retire from the actual frontline.

Now, the ONR and NSZ the underground newspapers declared, Poland has right to the east borders as before WW II. But on the MWP meetings, Angus heard something radical different: Poland would be better of, if the Poles concentrate in area with a clear Polish majority. The east lands are a deadweight, they bring only loses, the speedier we cut them, the better. Staying there, may only produce ugly disturbances. Ore reasonable to accept the Curzon Line, of course Lwów and Wilno shall remain in Poland, anyway Curzon never mentioned the towns and précised the draft. Sure, the Poles had there a clear majority of high patriotic population. Almost in whole Wilno Wojvodinshaft (district) and the area of Lwów from the side of Gródek stayed a dense Polish population. It was a common knowledge, that in 1920 the stubborn defense near Lwów, to the limit of suicide, caused the defeat of Soviets south front and hold the "Konarmy" (Horse-army), which could help Tuchaczewski in the deciding battle.

Often the territory, settled in by Polish and another population created quasi-islands, or a tangled pattern. ONR decided on displacing the people, by force, producing "pure" national and religious areas. All remains of the federation of nations should be speedy canceled and forgotten. The citizens of another nationality living on Polish territory would have a choice, either to Polonized, or to leave. Similar the Poles living abroad either to settle into Poland, or forget they were Poles. A logical and consistent pattern, the next steps should take care about separating Greaterpoland from Lesserpoland and Mazovia. Following this, deport compulsorily Kaszub's, if they found a place except Maritime and Mountaineers, if wiping the tears they abandoned their mountains, "for bread, dear, for bread." Lastly, each would find his proper place and may easily hold in order, surely the right magistrates would also take care, everyone took to proper religion. This all should give Poland such a might, before which each invader would back out in horror.

Surely in the eyes of fanatics as well as primitives and teenagers such monolithic state may hold imaginary high qualities. However, in the times of the feudal, regional partition the dusted to the blank heart of Poland, separate provinces never became more successful or safe. The historical experience was rather bad. Anyway, the proposed agenda accepted hostility to all strangers, national egoism (a little pinch, according to Dmowski, may be not too bad, but they wanted multiply it by teens, if not by hundreds). This all followed by a silly hope, with this attitude, nobody dares to attack us. Well, xenophobia and isolationism happened to others, too, yet Poland had not the right conditions for such a program. If the Poles lived beyond an ocean, maybe, but not a chance in a passage, open from both sides. Anyway, the proportions of people inferior and valuable among different nations are similar, no matter what ambitions they have. If anything, the mongrels may slightly prevail over the pure breed, because the evolution changes happen more often in a mixed genetic material. Meaning, both the good and bad changes, next it is simply matter of survival. (More about his hypothesis wrote Teodor Parnicki in a novel: "THE END OF THE CONCORD OF NATIONS.")

A queer case: Extreme right and left wings unanimously agreed about the borders. No, not quite, but let's say on 95 percent. They both in conformity accept a plan, let’s call it open, of ethnical purges, which tragically touched millions of people. More, as after the break-of Yugoslavia federation, only at the time nobody was thrilled, nobody cared about this. Even now some name it, a horrid expression, "the purification with fire."

There was one more close likeness between the two extremes and one big difference. Similar to the "Initiative Groups" of communist, the leaders of NSZ ONR murdered themselves with preference. Well, not so effective as the communists, where the nomination to the following Initiative Groups became a honor inducing fear, nearly panic. It seems now like placing the wagon before the horse, but in November, the first Commander in Chief of NSZ ONR, Kmicic, returning from Warsaw, first reinstituted by the Political Council of NSZ as Commander, right away became murdered. In the following chaos, the Council communicated first, the killing did the Home Army, next, it was a deed of Communists and finally, the Council had to execute Kmicic because he committed treason, in the interest of the Soviets. This an obviously absurd, considering his past army service in the Polish-Bolshevik war, sure if he were in Katyń, he would be one of the first victims. The first comments the people made, Sienkiewicz, if he still lived would get a heart attack, Bohun killed Kmicic, what a mix up. However after Kmicic’ death, followed multiple murders on NSZ officers.

The difference was, if the NSZ first displayed the program of annexing, or recovering the formerly Polish, now German territory, they had no means to do this. It was simply wistful thinking. They planned to build up and use as first three big units to produce an "accomplished fact," after collapse of Germany to catch and hold the former Piast lands. However event this appeared impossible, with maximum effort they managed only to set up only one, the so called Swietokrzyska Brigade by mobilizing the two Infantry regiments. (The 204 and 205 pp consisted of about 550 and 450 soldiers, in fact equivalent to two weak battalions.) At the end of year, as more people from other regions of Poland, where the planned mobilization failed, gathered, the number grow to about 1200. Next, with attached Political Council and many VIPs, top officials etc. up to about 1400. All in all not a full regiment. NSZ made up the similar appearances before. In the Warsaw rising, the so called "Mechanized Armored Brigade "Koło" in fact appeared a group, little more than a hundred, with neither armor nor any vehicles. The training provided was about the same as Angus had in fourth class of Grammar school; theoretical. The only weapons they had several rifles and umpteen pistols.

Even if NSZ ONR mobilized according to plans three big units, they could never size and hold "the ancient paradise of Piast lands", it would end in discredit. They had no real strength and never tried.

Also the communist had not own strength, but a Red Army backing. The idea pleased Stalin, it excused holding the east half of the allied country. The new western border he presented like a fief to Poles. It should make them dependent on Soviets, produce a long ill will between Poles and Germans, excluding only the "Osti" (eastern), turned with the Poles to fellow-knaves of the Soviets.

That being so, Stalin ordered his minions to change the attitude, to press the propaganda for Polish borders: the Western on the Oder-Nyssa line, the eastern on Bug. In 1939 he offered backing and proposed protection to German people from the "Anglo-French aggression" (not accepted, but the material aid, mostly the raw materials helped Germany much indeed). Also he expressed pleasure, "because of recovering by Germany of Greaterpoland, Pomerania and Silesia, unjust captured by the former Poland." This made the Soviets extreme unpopular with Poles. Now, the new attitude made possible expanding of PPR (Polish Worker Party, substituting the wiped out by Commintern (read Stalin in person) KPP (Polish Communist Party).

In fact, to ONR and NSZ the idea about western borders caused first some gain in recruiting new members. But much more won the PPR, who accepted this program as their own, starting an aggressive and noisy propaganda. In 1942 the public opinion was, over 90 percent for the moderate Polish Government on Exile, maybe top 5 percent to ONR and maybe 1–2percent for PPR. However, next ONR lost the competition between the two extremes, in 1943 going about equal, 5 and 5 percent. Next, in 1944 this fell to 2–3 percent, all gains for PPR. The full credit remained still with the moderate position of the Polish Government, about 90 percent, but controlling the people became a problem. In fact, the cause was simple: every organism in danger produces and uses, in need sacrifices, a part of his cells to protect the rest. In a crisis a society produces and makes use of heroes, no matter if they survive or not, if only they do their task. But with this, progress a negative segregation, as the first perished the best, the less worthy too, but fewer of them. On the long run, the percentage of the good drops, and the scum increases.

The Polish Society at first presented not a bad show, but after almost four years of negative segregation, loss of up to 15 percent of people, the proportion of the bad increased. The bandits, the outlaws may as good rob the German peasants, as they did do the Polish, well, some began this right now, because the GL (next AL) allowed compulsory requisitions. Nothing simpler, as call themselves guerrilla to continue robbery and if the Home Army intervenes, appeal to their own new Command. The former Hyenas, hoped to blackmail and exert as good the German population as before the Jews, they had none racial prejudices. Some of the scum considered the choice, if more profitable for next career may be NSZ, or rather PPR, Angus herself meet such an "idealist, but practical". About one year later, in middle 1945 there was such a popular song about the, ruling now, communist:

However, most of Polish society feed delusions this can never happen, as the Poland position remains strong. Only the peace conference could definite solved the matter of borders and there we shall have strong arguments. After all a country which first stood up to fight Hitler and proportionally gave the greatest contribution and suffered greatest toll and losses, cannot in result of victory lose almost half of his territory, a pure nonsense. Naively they remembered the British safeguards given to Poland before she closed the alliance on the side of coalitions. They forgot about the known truth that Great Britain fulfilled always treaties and commitments - when they are profitable.

Still, in public opinion predominated the belief, that even if it may become necessary to make some territorial concessions to Soviets, Poland may not fear the result. Even if Soviets do not agree on plebiscite, which would never result agreeable for them, the case shall be negotiable and we have allies and friends, who will intermediate, limiting the possible wrong to Poland. Not only they, but all the Free World owes so much to Poles.

Meanwhile there is a need to show moderation and self-control, never fight the Red Army, whatever they do, let them not provoke the people to an unfriendly reaction. Treat them so as if they were a loyal ally, stay in friendly relations if only to the simple soldiers. Alas, there came in news, the Soviets coming into Poland behave so, as if this were their own territory and continue the Germans crimes, as if they were still Hitler allies. It was a hard task to stay calm when they murdered and placed in concentration camps the members of the resistance.

On the gatherings of OWP Angus met a different, opposite sentiment. The war with Germany is already clearly won, Poles put in their contribution as first and now anything they add is less important, so better to save the rest of blood. The allies manage to finish off Germany alone. Instead, the Poles should concentrate now on the earth’s pure ethnicity and these in the least conquered from Germans, the birthplace of Poland, ancient Piast lands and there prepare a shield. The only foe presenting now a serious treat is Soviet Union, if Poles make there a stand, show a good fight and firm resistance, the western allies in own interest will back them. They also feel the treat of Soviets and may accept this as convenient line of common defense. The only rational procedure now shall be stop further fighting the Germans, except in cases of self-defense. Anyway, the Germans face now a bad crisis, such a need is unlikely. All the disposable Polish troops should keep in reserve to protect the core of Poland. This program ONR presented as the only just and right, still most of Poles considered this a nightmare of a sick imagination. However, both sides proved misled, the realty topped the worst expectations.

This explains the later defaming of NSZ for collaboration with German occupants In fact, never happened any institutional treason, if there happened some crimes; the communist acted not any better. However, in this second half of year, the NSZ-ONR troops avoided battling the Germans.

About parallel started talks about organizing the Swiętokrzyska Brigade, a big troop, over a thousand soldiers (it seemed an exaggeration, but in fact it contained more). Angus got a proposal to join it, a strong temptation considering he daydreamed about active war with a weapon in hands. His worst fear was missing the opportunity, remain unable to fulfill the holy duty of each Pole. However, a negative decision caused a conversation with familiar boys, who in the former, 1943-year volunteered in the troops of NSZ. This happened in May, almost two months earlier before Angus unsuccessfully tried volunteer into the Gloomy squad.

In some moment, the boy recalled, as one of the villages they found a few hiding Yews.

"And what did you do, if anything," asked Angus, remembering the annihilation of Ostrowiec Ghetto and his own escapade in too late try of helping the victims.

"Nothing special. Our officer interrogated them and afterwards..." the boy did a significant gesture on the throat.

"What do you say? I do not understand. Surely you did not murder them?"

"It was not a murder. After the sentence passed, we got an order to execute them."

After the first shock, Angus could not master his indignation:

"How so, this is a direct help for the occupants. A simple collaboration with Germans, you, like hounds, seek and kill the game that had the luck to evade death fro the hunters. Do the Germans pay a steady pension, or is there praise for every head?"

The boy too, irritated, tore off from his place and almost started a brawl, but first exploded.

"You are a stupid weakling, you grasp nothing. Think a little, this were not mere Yews refugees, such ones we would never wrong. At most we would leave them some provision and a good advice, to keep away some more distance from the village, not imperil the peasants. But they were Jewish communists, contacts and protégées of PPR. Future commissars, GPU functionaries of at least militia members, red hangmen, and executioners. Can you imagine, how many lives can cost such traitors, who grow with us on Polish earth, know the people and shall join the GPU and show to the Reds, whom to arrest, treat into shit, or kill? Or to do the bloody work themselves? Hundreds of thousand people perished already and still perish nearby, in the east provinces. And now the Red Army, followed by the GPU steps in here and Poland faces a next occupation, we may fight them tomorrow, so what, shall we delay the defense? If we execute Gestapo informers and traitors to Germans, including the ones denouncing Jews, the same applies to Soviet agents. Better do his early, before they cause a real damage. This is simple self-defense. Either we them, or next they finish us. They are a treat to national safety, no place for any doubts. I have nothing against Jews, I knew and respected some; would still help them on sight. I had some familiar Jewish boys who taught me Jewish songs, I like them very much."

As if wanting to prove this, he began to sing, to Angus unmusical ear it sounded something like:

"Ulicą idzie mały Żyd, śpiewa sobie „Aj sy git."

"Along a street walks a small Jew, he chants himself "O how well..."

And so on, with the (chorus) refrain.

"This (music) band, this band, plays so wonderfully!"

However, Angus stopped hearing, he shouted:

"If these people committed a treason, they may be shot, but only after their guilt was proved. What Judge, what Court, where the Lawsuit took place? Who pressed the charge, who defended them? I know, you already told, some officer interrogated them, like the SS does. There role should do the regular underground Courts of Justice, yours action was not only illegal, but a straight crime. A shame to the Underground State and the whole nation, following Nazi steps."

Seeing the violent discussion, most distinctly changing from words to deeds, the today lecturer joined, trying to calm the sentiments and explain the ugly dark side.

"Listen this is not as simple. In fact the German solved the Jew problem in a way we never wanted neither accepted, nor approved. In all history, Poles never assassinated anybody because he was this who he was, never from racial regards, for me too such a thought is alien and repulsive. True is, that we wanted a major part of Jews to go, emigrate. Through the centuries all Europe persecuted Jews, they found in Poland covert, a second Earth Promised. But next came the time to bid good-bye, enough of the good. Even marriages end in time and one can settle it cultural, without feud and mutual indictments. One can even keep good remembrance. ONR never threatened the Jews, on the contrary, even offered active aid to emigration."

[Angus checked next and this exactly turned out true. Really, the Zionist organizations received help, including instructors, military training and even in secret weapons from ONR and near extremist right wing groups. This concerned "Betar" (Bethar) next the Stern group and especially the future "Irgun Zwoa Leumi". It was not much help. Or perhaps it was just business.]

"Merely it settled too many Jews, they became the most numerous national minority. Lastly it began to look that with take over all Polish property, they tried, this would be not Poland, but Judeo-Poland (of course this was not truth, but paranoia). According to statistics, they topped already 10 percent population, but in fact there was more, umpteen percent. And they owned in towns, according to statistics, round 35 percent of estates, and according to us round 50 percent. This could not so stay further, lastly in own country would remain to us the role of farmhands or knaves."

Angus listened, thinking: "so looks out xenophobia and her results, the agenda for ethnic purges, concerning all the minorities, logical, first the most plentiful. But after all this was not agenda of murders, although one from person actively engaged in ONR politics actually said, the Germans finally solved this problem, in another manner, ugly words. On the other side, precisely one from creators and ringleaders of ONR Jan Mosdorf perished in Oswiecim self-sacrificing life when carrying aid to Jews. The priest Stanislaw Trzeciak, leading theoretician of anti-Semitism, executed for the same offense, as mentioned before."

However from this conversation followed indirect that Germans did something practical, although faulty, in improper manner. No wonder that since then Angus did not want to have anything common with ONR, MWP, nor with NSZ. This was a genuine nervous shock. Never again, would he consider joining the Brigade Swietokrzyska; good God saved him from a heavy error. But he did not say this right away, better keep prudence till the first favorable opportunity.

Lucky for Angus, shortly in the underground press appeared the order of The Commandant of Home Army, General Bór, backed and authorized by Commander in Chief of Polish Army Gen Sosnkowski and Polish Government. The order, probably nr 476 or alike, condemned NSZ and named this organization as illegal for all recognizing Polish Government on Exile. Polish citizens should break any contacts with this organization. Angus benefited from an occasion, announced that ZSZ recommend him to respect this order and his own conscience demand so too. Many people acted the same way, for example even some local commands of NSZ, so without more explanations he withdrew in a crowd. (A less known detail is, in October, after the fall of Warsaw rising, NSZ announced creation of his own private Polish Government, a pure nonsense, too stupid to amuse anybody. Few people ever noticed this.)

This order, condemning NSZ, appeared because of applying criminal methods in negotiations with Home Army. NSZ arouse by uniting the NOW (National Military Organization) of Endecia with his former Youth annex ONR, if not whole, because already before WW II and during it ONR separated in two groups. The most active was The Confederacy of Nation lead by Boleslaw Piasecki, who created military annex called The Strike Battalions (nothing common with the Peasants Battalions). This group as first joined the Home Army. The rest of ONR, mainly the ABC group, united first to the NOW with the so called "Salamander Bound" (Lizard or Reptile Union). Next the NSZ, like all Polish military organizations, began negotiate the union with Home Army, which took a longtime, ending with signing a union contract. However, after this, in NSZ followed inner frictions and the ONR group arranged a coup d’état, after the death of the Commandant producing a false nomination and declaring void the agreed wit AK nomination. This happened in a mafia atmosphere, with violence kidnapping and extortion and got only worse, to multiple murders. Almost like to the Initiative groups of PPR, it straight compromised the underground. Final a main part of NSZ, coming from the National Military Organization united with Home Army, the splitter of NSZ–ONR accepted the self-styled, false commander, next murdered by his gang.

About murders of Jews by NSZ, it necessary to tell, these stroke not only the Jews, but all in all a few thousands of people, several hundreds from them Jews (about 10 percent, near the average percentage of population). In underground press, often fell indictments addressed to NSZ and PPR, both extremes, about introducing terror, killing their political enemies, in short accusing then as fratricidal murders. Surely the accusations justified, because if extremists killed even their own bunch, not a chance they may have any regards to enemies. Despite the pressure of public opinion, objections expressed by the secret Polish press and the interventions of Delegate of Government in Exile, and the Home Army, situation between NSZ and PPR often reminded a free hunt. One tried to kill the other and vice versa. Anyway murders may be a mere trifle, just chicken-feed. The underground press accused both sides of something much worse, of informing Gestapo about their political opponents. At first this began by denunciation by the mail, next changed even to arranging stable lines of delivering the data to the occupants, there remained some documents of Gestapo.

Hard to believe in such a degree of human meanness. However, already after war, in The Factory of Documentary Films, an institution, according to Stalin ideas very high placed as the most important mass organ of propaganda, worked umpteen members of contemporary KC. Persons with very long and top party standing. Precisely there Angus heard such a version:

Marceli Nowotko, one from the brief lasting first secretaries (or maybe a general secretary) of PPR, thrown down with parachute in the Initiative Group, was killed by brothers Mołojec therefore, he organized a cell delivering information, personal details to Gestapo. Mołojcy heard out the recommendations in silence, though with alarm and they inferred that on the top of party settled a German provocateur. They considered this a cause so bad, there was not time for normal procedure. So they edited and executed the sentence, and in turn also became shot by Jan Krasicki with collaboration Hanka Sawicka. These two young fighters in the first years after the war the communist regime declared heroes and an example for youth.

Of course nobody knows the exact truths, the details of the crimes remained a mystery even until today. This all could be spiteful gossip, and in reality it went ordinary in the war. Anyway there are several other versions known. Several times the party investigations resulted in nothing. Perhaps, they display fights between VIP's or groups in Soviets about intercepting Poland. For example between NKVD (next called KGB), Red Army Information and like. It is a common knowledge, Stalin enclosed with people hating themselves, the more belligerent, the more safe he felt. It is a known fact, that a few alternating teams which had to re-create communist party in Poland, perished in unclear circumstances, probably killed. In the circles of Polish communists in Moscow, recommendation of departure with mission to Poland awoke such feelings, as a probable death sentence. In the country, Angus heard then such comments about PPR: "They devour one the other, how cannibal spiders closed in a jar; if this goes on, nobody remains. How already mentioned, on the top of NSZ happened similar gangster’s inner wars. However there was no comparison, the difference was of at least of a few grades.

Alas, thousands of people perished in the outcome of fratricidal murders. In proportion to the German terror, it was a small number, about one 0.1 percent, but compromising. This number included several hundred Jews, slough by NSZ. They were not killed from racial regards (because being Jews), but as suspected about ties with PPR and Soviets. In fact, after war the apparat of safety, persecuting and terrorizing the Polish society, included many Jews and it is known that at least a part searched retaliation on former NSZ members, particularly bloody. Balance anyway unprofitable to the NSZ, a bad business. But in fact some of them may react badly because of their own experience. The killing produced more enemies, real ones instead of those only suspected. The murder of even a little number of Jews, never mind any suspicions, was not only a crime, but worse, an extreme stupidity. It reminds the method of Nazi. The much frequenter political murders on Poles got quickly forgotten, instead up to today everyone remembers only the Jews, adding therefore a false racial interpretation.

Home Army acted prudently, basically never executing even the Jewish Gestapo informers, spies, and provocateurs, but delivering the intelligence info to the Jewish organizations. The sentence passed the Jewish organizations, at most the Home Army helped by the enforcement, but only if asked. The most known if, of course, the execution in Warsaw Ghetto by the Jewish Military Bound on the members of the "Torch," organized by the Gestapo from the cadre of the former "Thirteen." In fact, the Jewish traitors and renegades damaged mainly their own people, with rarely a contact to Poles, but sometimes, the top ones were better accessible outside Ghetto. However, the most wrong did there ordinary Jewish constables.

It seems an illogical paradox, the fratricidal bloodshed between slight extremes the right wing radicals and Communist, consisting of about 5% of Poles, left a poisoned fruit, final break between the Jews and Poles societies. A pure nonsense; the two nations, suffering a macabre loss and the worst period of their history, entered the time of torment and death with a tradition of centuries of coexistence and support. But next they turned away because of the moronic action of a few loonies. This comment does not apply to communist, because they anyway never acted independently, but simply did what Stalin ordered, in interest of Soviets. Stalin directed them to build a party, at the top servile to any wink of Soviets, however at the low-level keeping up the appearances of Polish interest. The people had no delusions about this matter, and with an unanimous community, the commie would have a harder task. But the communist deserve a major part of their success to NSZ-ONR. First, as mentioned above with the propaganda of long push of the western border, they created a catching argument for the Soviet regime, the only one who could affect people. Second, creating an anarchy, they undermined the common backing of the Polish Government in Exile, which seemingly too eager supported the Soviets. Next, they must recognize, they compromise the whole underground with the murders and occasional cooperation with occupants. The Brigade Swietokrzyska, hold contact with the German Army by special contact officer Obersturmfuehrer of the SS, Paul Fuchs, the former chief of Radom Gestapo. He accompanied the Brigade, accepted to the close bunch in command, on the way out from Poland, which in fact lead not west to the old Polish Piast lands, but to the south, to Czech country. Sure, the brigade never fulfilled the German demands. It would be a folly to turn sides in the last days of German Army existence. However, they had to at least to appear, as if they did, if in reality it was only a play for time. Finally they make the right gesture, freeing the concentration camp Holysov right before the Americans, but even so it took time, before the decision came, if they are combatants or collaborators. The British simply banned to enter on the terrains they took, but the Americans and General Patton, personally, allowed. Then, the soldiers become accepted to the Watch Companies, but all the Command ousted, what was the best. In the last month there followed the top many nominations, for colonels, even Generals, but nobody took these ranks seriously.

In short, a poor show. NSZ-ONR started from position much stronger as the communist and next all the time lost the competition. Much worse, all the actions supposed contrary, in fact substantially strengthen the communists, which without NSZ-ONR would much longer remain in marginal position. Well, Stalin probably anyway would take an overhand, but he had to more exert himself, wail so he could benefit from NSZ propaganda or present an easy excuse in his own terror and worst crimes. And Poles lost some of the, initially great, credit and sympathy of the public opinion. The matter should be cleared. A clever enemy does less harm than a stupid partner.

 Capsule: Polish-Jewish separation. The final break of old multinational Res Publica.

As mentioned, Jews from the beginning of written history coexisted with Poles, and next lived on the territory of the old multinational Republic. Their colonization covered exactly with the limits of federal State, where, the displaced people persecuted in Europe, found a second "Earth Promised". In certain periods, above 90 percent of the people of Jewish Diaspora found refuge here and survived the worst time. From the alive now Jews, anyway the Ashkenazy, almost each one could find an ancestor from Poland. After the loss of the independence of Poland, they remained on ascent on same grounds, as, for example, Russia treated them as citizen of lower category, did not allow to pollute the core of pure Russian earth. They could as before live on the earth which they occupied earlier, before it got under the authority of Russia, but they could not settle further. In this manner the ancient borders of Res Publica, survived as the limit of Jewish colonization on east. In annexations Prussian and Austrian they met with difficulties and the dislike of administrations, which, at least in Austria stopped only in middle 19th century. Pruss if easier to immigrate, or at least to settle in the hinterland, however the discrimination in the lands newly taken was worse. In the old lands the arbitrariness of local authorities happened rarely, with the laws better respected. However, everywhere conditions of life worsened, what anyway referred to all population in the country conquered. Because of this, the wave turned round and now the Jews began the reemigration to the west. At the time in Europe the period of persecutions ended and everyone may return fairly safely. Of course this referred only to the rich Jews, who could pay the journey and find a source of keeping in the new place.

The first such wave of remigration to the west began in a time when the Res Publica still existed, but her collapse already was visible and she just survived the first crisis, one can tell, by the force of momentum. The so-called Motion of Frankists: the richest Jews organized in a religious sect (the Moses confession has not a central, or credited organization, it exists in many sects, none supposed a heresies or schism. Merely the believers assemble round outstanding ringleaders, what of course does not mean they will not reach time of broils or misunderstandings. Then, they settled in with their money, first to the countries of the contemporary Roman Empire of German Nation, mainly to Over-Rhine and vicinity. Nearby they found many kingdoms and principalities, in which one could find bearable conditions, of course offering a suitable compensation. Next they spread to other German soil, including central Austria, or further, to France and England. Migrating of great capital was like a precise logistic enterprise. Frankists chose a form of religious organization, comparatively broad-minded and searching for the possible form of harmony with Christian churches, organizing many public discussions and debates. Probably they tried about any form of understanding, to assure them and their estates before persecutions, which once in Europe resulted allegedly on religious basis. Of course, this is only the abridged and simplified version of events which deserve at least a few historic works and surely more books of sensation and adventure. The author considers that it was a skillfully prepared and performed action. Frankists founded many great Jewish fortunes and business in Western Europe and beyond.

A similar pattern continued over the next two centuries. The rich and important Jews emigrated west, the poor remained in the same place, some tried to move with the trend, but mostly arrived only to the Polish ethnical soil and stopped there.

The Jews from Russia, subjected to strong pressure, became Russian-like and did not anymore identify themselves with Poland. However, the Jews living with Poles on ethnically Polish grounds defined themselves as "Polish Jews," or even "Poles of Moses faith." They not only tied close relations with Polish society, but sometimes distinguished themselves with hot patriotism. Well, a part took contribution in Polish raisings, freedom fighting, in Legions, battling for freedom of country and next in the Polish-Bolsheviks war. However the arrivers from east, called Litvacks, because a majority came from the Lithuanian half of former Res Publica put in to russification early, feel no bounds with Poles and Poland. The refugees or displaced people, in search of conditions fit for life, sometimes collaborated with the occupants or at least tried never offend the authority. A known author, who was an authority on Polish and Jewish history, Shimon Ashkenazy, this exactly described as the primary cause of anti-Semitism in Poland, where this not existed before. Angus did not share this opinion, as mentioned before.

At the end of 19th century and later, before the WW I the flow of the Litvacks rose, because of the pogroms (routs, organized beat and chase), arranged on purpose by Russian authorities. However, this never happened on lands with a clear Polish majority and where besides Jews lived a biggish Polish minority, they commonly arranged a defense.

After the WW I and revolution in Russia, the flood still multiplied, both of Jews and refuges for their lives. As mentioned, the number of Jews in Poland between 1918 and 1938 doubled according to statistics. Sure the statistic shows not all the picture, because they do not include the terrorized refuges avoiding any records. It concerned mainly the poor Jews, which lost all on the run and saved only their life in the macabre slaughter. Most of them survived only thanks to the charity of Jewish municipal corporations and foreign aid (mostly from the U.S.).

Alas, the only way which could in natural manner solve the problem, further emigration to West, remained closed. The countries, who still in 1914 took a great number of Jewish immigrants, stopped accepting the displaced people. The Jews, who run to Poland, sawed the life, but remained in a trap. On the other side, Poland could not any more serve as a giant waiting room or magazine, she overdrew her capacity. Besides, Polish People protested against a competition with immigrants, accepting any hunger wages. It is public knowledge that such a pattern became a source of many social troubles.

What a possibility of survival had the Jews remaining behind the current border of Poland? Besides, of course a criminal activity, because many desperate decided so from need (also among runaways to Poland). Well, the Soviet authority admittedly forbade Jews continue their previously existing occupations, mainly trade and financial operations, but abolished, at least in theory, every limit, persecuting and discriminating Jews, including also the interdiction of settling. Formally everyone became equal, free citizens, who could travel and live everywhere. In practical way, equality of rights gave nothing. It turned out to be equal in the rights of a serfs in totalitarian regime: equal laws in equal oppression. It became not a natural right, but a special privileged permission to continue life.

However there opened an ecological niche. The Soviets killed most of "maidservants of the capital," how Lenin defined the intelligentsia. Soviet authority organized her bureaucracy, of the party and state. Soon this state became the most bureaucratic on the world. Therefore educated people became necessary, at least literate and knowing the art of writing. Jews in great degree filled the vacuum, many of them reached even the highest posts. Besides, some found their place in Czeka (Tsheka), later GPU, NKVD, and finally KGB, also intelligence, both political and military, as well as chiefly in Commintern.

Along the crowd of refugees, went also agents and members of secret police, they recruited more others already on the other side of border, among desperadoes without source of keeping or perspectives on future. In fact with the communist motion, which in Poland was unpopular (natural after war 1920/21), also in managing KPP found jobs many Jews, disproportionate to the population percentage. Because so many VIPs in the Party and a majority in the communist managers consisted of Jews, the right wing extreme forged a spiteful name "Jew-commune." But in fact it was never accepted and rather a matter of joke in the society. People believed, the Jews divide in the religious and the so called broad-minded, but in fact the second applied to the liberals, communist were neither here nor there.

Sure, the fratricidal wars between extreme right wing and extreme left touched also the Jewish communist. From this cause, and not a racial one, which never had much importance in Poland, perished in the time of the occupation several hundred Jews. This continued in first years after the WW II. Maybe better to tell this different, in Poland the WW II lasted longer, at least to 1947-year. Only from the reason of hopes, connected with arrival of Mikołajczyk it did not swell to the full civil war and simultaneously war with the invader, what would cause a terrible bloodshed. Through a few years, Poles tried to oppose next occupation and created by her, so-called marionette government and at all not marionette, apparatus of force. What a paradox name, The Ministry of Public Safety and The Offices of Safety, (of Public Danger would be more suitable). This applies as well to different staffs, uniform and special branches and the special forces. After year 1947 Poles gradually put in to the force, but the apparatuses of terror continued the war and still more increased the terror. Vae victis.

And so The Ministry of Public Safety (or Danger) admittedly was not, how believed the inclined to exaggeration Poles, owned by Jews. However, disproportionately many Jews worked there, chiefly on the control posts. Minister Stanislaw Radkiewicz was not a Jew, but also not a Pole, before he began to do the duty of a Pole, declared himself a Białorusin (Byelorussian). The only title to Polish citizenship was the fact, he married a genuine Polish Jewess. But a Jew was his vice (undersecretary) and six, and next five of ten directors of the department. Besides many more Jews entered the government, or fulfilled high roles of state or party. Probably up to 150,000 Poles perished after war in the terror, many more became persecuted and jailed, at their complicity. On the other hand, some umpteen thousands Security members perished, and in this number were maybe 2,000 to 3,000 Jews. But the worst was, on both sides died many innocent, causal people, killed on suspicion. I fear, not many genuine Security torturers became killed and between the innocent suspected were also the Jews. Sure, the Security men, better informed, too were not choosers, they had instruction better kill ten innocent, than let pass one true patriot. Jet the NSZ if proved before their incompetence, now worse informed, had to make more mistakes, probably made more new enemies, than liquidated the old, genuine Jew-communists. This terminology got into use, not a joke now, the anti-Semitism spread.

After WW II, which on Polish ground lasted a few years longer, to the consciousness Poles at last it rubbed up that further war is hopeless and it was necessary for them to resign. Clearly they felt deceived and betrayed. First by the allies, who remained allies only so long as they needed Poles. And so in 1939, when they saved the western democracies, France not too long, but England permanently - and still after, when staying firm they suffered heaviest from all united nations casualties. In result of a victorious war, they were treated worse than if they would fought on Hitler’s side. They lost not only about half of Poland, the eastern part, but all independence on the rest, and now began a new period of slavery in disguise.

Reflection of this was the sudden popularity of a song known already at end of the first, German occupation: (melody "Forward, the rifle team...")

This frustration, sense of betrayal swept on all allies, but also Jews. Never mind the role of Jew renegades in the Government, communist party and the Safety apparatus. But this, what they did, it did not meet with condemning by the Jew society, but with a full approval. In the time of war, nobody blamed Jews for such traitors, as Symche Spira, which was commissioned by Germans, to organize shows of public executions of Poles. The photos of Jewish teams hanging prisoners were displayed in both the German and reptile press. However, this never impressed the Polish readers, as all knew both his own compatriots as well as the Poles universally, damn him. Villains, scum happened in any society, some Poles acted no better. But this time, after WW II, the Jewish society took the side of the Soviet occupant and even seemed proud from the role, which did the renegades and traitors in Government and the Communist Party. Even the felons and torturers of UB (Surety) they considered people of power and influence, which took care and enclosed them with protection. Such acquaintance one may praise with honor, beside this took immediate profits. For Poles it seemed straight impossible, that people, which not long ago with full sacrifice and the gift of own blood they saved from extermination, now reacted so badly. The matter went so far, the people, that took the risk of helping Jews before, true heroes, many of them losing his life, if survived, now asked the people they rescued never mention this fact, forget it forever. Thus continued the nightmare of war, before, sheltering Jew or even a child amounted to death from the enemy. Now the risk may be a bad name and contempt of own society.

However this picture, which believed the Poles, was not true and after years it turned out a need to correct it. First, in the new Jew society, the old Polish Jews consisted a minority. According to statistic of Jewish Historical Committee, published in the press in the first tree years censored, but incompletely by communist, (in 1945, ’46 and ’47 formally still existed a coalition government) there registered some 86,000 Jewish survivors. The full number of survivors was evaluated at about 150,000. The difference arouse because a part of Jews who got new documents and identity in time of occupation, decided to remain so, with Polish names, not sure what may happen next. Also they were children, who gained new families, rarely finding some from the old. Instead, there turned out and registered between 150,000 and 200,000 Jews from Soviet, a part former Polish citizen, who survived the war in Soviets, a part, who only sought an opportunity to came out from Soviets. Some may have a link to Polish Jews, some not, but never mind the matter.

Anyway Poland was a better place to live and improved better perspectives, let say a purgatory compared with hell of Soviets (officially called a paradise). They simply benefited from any opportunity to leave Soviets and as before, Poland was the first step out. Clearly, to survive in Soviets they had to develop a necessary behavior, to subject and adapt to communist propaganda and pressure. This explains the hideous for Poles names, like the Central Committee of Jews in Poland, connecting to the Central Committees of Communist, of the WKPB and PPR. Also the disciplined, ostentatious enthusiasm for backing the Government and Communist Party and the epithets for the opposition, repeating the name of "spitted dwarfs of reaction." Maybe some part of Polish Jews, who survived the hell, seriously considered the offers of better life now, not as bribery by the new occupants, but a compensation for the past sufferings. Due especially for them, forgetting, it was a common hell. Anyway, in contemporary plight it was more practical to sit quietly, than to protest against special privileges, even if they thought it unjust and undeserved and did not ask for them. But sure, they could not expect a kind reaction from Poles. For example with the small business destroyed all around, but with the Jewish cooperatives in Szczecin and other towns, set free of tax. The result was the later rising anti-Semitism.

Already once, in 1939, some part of Poles feared the Jews may took to the Germans, turn traitors and deliver the Poles, or at least agree on close relations at the cost of the Poles. One reason was that the German language for the Jews was like a native tongue, the Yiddish in fact being one from ancient German dialects. Such anxiety never materialized and the suspicion appeared completely groundless. However, the Jewish society for some time isolated themselves from the Polish, trying to buy off, and corrupt the occupants. At the time Angus and all Polish people never realized, the Jews already as first mobilized all their males able to take arms and could add nothing more, unable to fight. It was the only possibility left and for about two years effective. To the autumn of 1941 the Germans did not murder the Jews, meaning never in mass, only in individual cases. To this time they concentrated on mass-murder of Poles. Then this tactic changed, they turned on the Jews rapidly, in the next one-and-a-half years they killed nearly all Jews without engaging much of their forces, mostly with the hands of traitors, outcasts and Jewish renegades.

According to public knowledge, above 90 percent of the Warsaw Ghetto, all of Kraków and many others, suppressed Jewish constables, informers, and collaborators of Gestapo (called, after SSmen, Odemen). Well, with the help of German support units, "szaulisi" (Lietuvos Szauliu Sajunga - The Union of Lithuanian Riflemen), Ukrainians and later also Kalmucks, Latvians and so on. Germans limited to emitting orders and directing the action. It happened, the columns of Jews escorted also by Jews supervised a few pups from "Hitlerjugend". Probably, the Germans turned for a time to the easier task, because engaging all the force on the fronts they could not detach enough number of soldiers to continue the mass-murder of Poles. The terror against the Polish population eased to actions like a fire extinguishing, but even for this they had too few soldiers. But the Jews for a time remained isolated, because rebuilding contacts and organizing new ways to send relief took time. Polish underground supplied as much help, as it could, for example weapons and material relief to the existing Jewish military organization of ŻZW and new created ŻOB (the Jewish Military Bound and Jewish Fighting Organization). Also, it created a special agency for human help, called Żegota, but all this came too late, already there remained not much over 10 percent of Jews still living.

However, next followed an heroic, desperate battle, not limited to revolt in Warsaw Ghetto, but also similar actions in other Ghettos, creating tradition and inheritance of ŻZW and ŻOB. All the world looked on the tragedy of Jews passively, similar as before on the tragedy of Poles. Even organizations and Jews of the west did not want to publish the voice of the dying. Nobody even tried to help, except the Poles, that shared a similar fate before and clearly awaited next. Anyway such was the common conviction. Angus heard everywhere "now, we shall be the next," "after Jews we take the next place in the queue," usually with addition: "with us it will not go so easy." The common feeling of solidarity in the extermination face imposed support, though already not much could be done. Poles managed to save the remaining 5 percent Jews, but paid this abundantly with their own blood.

It was mentioned before, the estimated number of survivors according to different accounts may be between 100,000 to 200,000 people. If someone every number treats with doubt, he as well may say, neither the concentration camps at all existed, nor the Germans at all did kill anybody. Neither the Jews, nor the Poles. Some in fact dare to say so. Unthinkable, how far reaches a human ignorance, or a hypocrisy and lie. After all, this happened not long ago, many saw and clearly remember the facts.

Surely nobody denied, the Nazis have had a proficient and effective RSHA, with Gestapo, several Police forces, specialized SS and many other special services—to long to list them all. Saving someone was not a single act of heroism, but a long procedure of hiding (with Germans professionally seekers), protecting and helping, which was more difficult every day. In the long run it was a hard task, with progress of months and finally a couple of years—almost a mission impossible, if not a God’s miracle and blessing.

Previously, Chapter X presented a case in which a try of aid in escape and concealment of four English captives cost the sentences of death for 46 people, not including these, who died in prison or camps. Also for support to Jews, the only chastisement was death. All knew this, because besides the announcements, Germans often made a show executions as a frightening off example of collective responsibility. Like a burned down house in Ostrowiec (see Chapter 8), or a whole burned down village (named Borek Kunowski or alike, umpteen Km from Ostrowiec), with all peasants killed, because they hid some Jews. It was like a lottery, sometimes lucky, but the chances of success decreased with every day. The author had some personal experience, as he used such one hiding place, prepared in vain and too late, for some Jews. Angus was found out there, but had a rare luck to meet a decent German. An astonishing coincidence, but in average the statistics were unfavorable. The Jews were hunted not any worse, than the POW, both a primary target and one saved life may cost several deaths. If such was the balance of profit and losses, why continue this action? The answer is simple, because people suffered and died and nobody else tried any help, so for the witness it was a natural human reflex, not a choice. The devil-may-care what happens, first the sense of duty and of personal conscience. Best describes this a simple verse:

Sure, many want become heroes, but few are fit. Still, these volunteers, who first, forestalling the official decision of Polish Underground and Home Army, from their own heart, taking no-account of the dangers, rushed to relief of the Jews, deserve this name. Queer, because among them were some, who did not like the Jews, and even before the war were considered top Polish anti-Semites. Yes, but Polish anti-Semitism had a specific meaning and never threatened the Jews, never called or advanced to employ force. As mentioned from the start, how strong took the Poles to France in connections and emotions. Yet nevertheless, some Poles, did not like, even detested the French, and about France did not want to hear. Sympathy or antipathy is a private affair, they can be and often are irrational, but even so no way to change this. Everyone has right to his personal preferences. So let’s not take badly to the memory the opinions and bias of Jan Mosdorf, or Dr Stanislaw Trzeciak, the most well-known anti-Semites before the war. In the hour of trial they faced the danger and suffered death, aiding the Jews. These are only two names, I do not know much about the matter; may still add some more, but enough is enough. Maybe, they did it for religious causes. But they were too some supporters of another life outlooks, material and worldly, agnostics, liberals, humanitarians, freethinkers, saints and sinners, all sort of people. Well, also the interested for profit. Everywhere it happens - a wanted man hidden for money. But in the action Żegota, it was usually the Jews who received a little money, not the opposite. The material help was poor, because all the underground allowances were poor, the money came from voluntary Polish donations, about 80–90 percent and remaining funds supplied the Polish Government on Exile, 10–20 percent.

Anyway, some of the people, who before the war wanted emigration of Jews and because of this got the name of anti-Semites, simply thought rationally. Many Jews shared the idea. Poland became the biggest mass of Jews in Europe and still came more runaways, yet there was practical not out stream, only a small, illegal dribble. In fact, that was the cause of collaboration of Zionists with the so-called Polish anti-Semites. Also, Polish government unofficially backed the further emigration, for example fixing by the Polish ship travels from Constanta to Palestine. If the problem were solved in time, the terrible calamity would not happen. But none country would accept the runaways. Poland became a trap, the noose tightened, till the country with all the people fell in the Hitler talons.

When at least in occupation time the affairs passed in the hands of professionals, civilian and military conspirators, it corrected the results. Now, the personal sacrifice of the idealists turned into a routine. If they managed to pull any Jews from a Ghetto or transport, after preparatory period first they made up new documents. They used the experience of existing previously, so called Legislating Cells, and set in motion new manufactories of documents, as a rule organized by Home Army. Then the coached Jews transferred to a new circle, they stopped to hide and began imitate the Poles. A part of the most needing still received allowances, alas on few solemn occasions and modest. As already mentioned, this problem referred not only to Jews. Also orphans and widows of the killed in action, and even the military on regular post in underground, who too had to live from something, received exactly as much or rather so few, with trouble they may survive. Equality of the poor, there was not much to divide.

Different dangers still awaited them, from meeting a casual acquaintance (which does not mean he would hand them to Germans, but alas Poles are talkative). In the worse case it would be a Gestapo agent or occasional blackmailer, the so called hyena. This blackguards happened equally among Poles, as between Jews. Of course not from the moral reason, but the danger for another lives, there was only one manner of proceed with the scum. The Germans still killed any detected Jews, but this way, now it was not so many victims. Also the people around as a rule may say, they did know nothing. At least they could exculpate that did not suspect the documents as false. Of course, still existed a danger that condemned to death may talk or show their guardians, people are different and a part breaks down facing the death. However it is necessary to tell, that on whole the Jews behaved much better, as the mentioned before English airmen, they died, but rarely pointed out someone else.

The comments in Capsules are not memoirs, they show the background and explain the bygones, but written years after. With the knowledge of following years it seems an easy and simple task to say, all what happened later is a logical effect of the past But contemporary foretelling would be as much worth, as fortune-telling, or sorcery.

Impossible to foresee one of the outcomes, which happened two years later from the described here events and left an exceptional ugly stain on the opinion and honor of Poles, let’s hope undeserved. At the time, nobody would believe it and next, the proper honest people could never forget the infamy. This concerns the Kielce "Pogrom" (route, a smash and chase) of Jews. But even then, at first it made not much of impact. Not in a country, where right away, Soviets organized a referendum. It was a time of bloody terror and daily perished teens, sometimes hundreds of people According to allied agreement, Poland has guarantee of free elections, already due: the outcome would be clear. The only support for communist was the Red Army, over 90 percent of votes would fall for the Polish Government on Exile, but allies dropped his support. So, the last premier of it, Stanislaw Mikolajczyk, resigned and joined a coalition Government created by the Communist in Poland and accredited later by all allied powers, hoping for a turning point after the elections. He had an unanimous and enthusiastic backing of nearly all the population.

Sure even if the vote would be honest and Mikolajczyk came to power, he would have to put in to Moscow demands, also admit Communists to joining the Government. But it could try a deal for some coexistence, at least some hope for a little autonomy and self-government. However, Stalin wanted no compromise and did not give a damn for appearances; he broke the treaty. Instead of a vote, which clearly could not satisfy him, he ordered a faked referendum and started a terror against the PSL (Polish Peasants = Popular Party). Surely, the referendum was unsatisfactory, so the announcement about result became delayed and next falsified. From this moment, began a ruthless killing of PSL members and activist. For intimidating the largest Party in Poland, The Ministry and Offices of Surety organized the dead squads, often the same functionaries arrested and imprisoned by day or murdered treacherously at night the victims in their houses and environment. All the time to the next, massive fraud of legislative vote the terror increase, officially hundreds activists of PSL were executed for other charges; thousands secretly killed by "people unknown." Also, by the exercise, the Surety got the experience, the fraud grew asymptotic near to 100 percent in next votes; which was almost comical, but nobody dared to laugh, and did not tell about the protest. This all done almost publicly and was obvious to everyone.

So the pogrom of Kielce followed four days after referendum and before announcement of the results. Polish society universally considered this a provocation of authorities. All living souls shared this opinion, nobody doubted, the full responsibility fells on the communists. Contemporary and now it seemed unlikely, the public opinion may take serious in account the opinion of some journalists, it may be only a theory without material support, the investigation found never a clear evidence, never any Soviet culprit. This argument seemed an affront to sound reason, offense of common intelligence, like there was never any firm evidence, tying Hitler with the Holocaust. Stalin too, at one, maybe XV or XVI congress of VKP(b), told the delegates: "You may do anything, but never leave any proof, most of all, written documents." Well, the Delegates accepted his words with laughter treating it as a joke. A fatal sense of humor; soon most of them were dead.

It is astounding that such a nonsense found a hearing. There were more and more and now it became believed, as after half a century the fresh memory vanished with the people who knew the truth.

The events are clear enough: The pogrom began with the Police or rather Militia force, with the Army and Corps-of-Inter-Security soldiers commanded by officers breaking in the apartment house, where lived the Jews. The mob gathered, but waited outside, and next started to throw stones on the walls. The fight and shooting started the uniformed servicemen and only next the mob, the scum joined the stronger party and continued the slaughter. Well after hours, when the authorities never interfered, the slaughter spread on the town, but stopped immediately, as the first orderly troops of the Army shot a salve in the sky after some five hours.

Yet the most characteristic was the reaction of the government. It was rapid, but only the civil person became charged and sentenced causally, without any firm evidence, on death. No one of the uniformed functionaries, soldiers or officers. With only one exception: the commander of Surety Office was punished for neglecting duty on a short prison term. Anyway cut even shorter with an advance two steps up, to a full colonel. After a time he managed a true gold mine, The Passport Office, getting rich quick.

But what was the motif of the genuine culprit? That is simple enough, „id fecit cui podest". Just look at the background. In the outcome of WW II, one from the members of victorious coalition is thrown to the wolves by his allies and for second time delivered as booty to a foe. For keeping up the appearances, in the international treaty the Poles became assured at least of the right to free vote in one year after war’s end. The best experts convinced public opinion of the free world all is in best order, according to best interest of the people. So why do the Poles cry? Well, there is not a way ever to satisfy these people. A silence plot covers the doom of the Poles, like before of the perishing Jews, nobody wants to hear them, more so because of a moral debt.

However, after putting off the legislature vote substituted with a phony referendum, some part of the free press became interested. There appeared questions and comments, even on the front pages, not always pleasant to Soviets. The people returning to Poland, former members of the Polish Government on Exile and Polish Army, report terror.

Just in such a moment, happens the Kielce Pogrom. Some 43 people die. A majority, 39 of the victims, have one common feature, they are Jews. In the terror preparing the vote, sometimes daily perished more people and nobody cared. Well, but this is a killing from racial regards. The first such after the tragedy of Holocaust, the Kielce pogrom appears on the first sites of news. Up to now, Poles deserved a lot of credit in the war and some sympathy. Now the name of Poland and Poles becomes dirt. It looks out, the communists were right, Poles are ruffians. Protests of PSL and Mikolajczyk, also of the western ambassadors, go down on last places in news. Even the liberal press, for about a century traditionally amicable to "the Polish case," turns back. Instead the communist press with many branches connected on the west (at war many people paying attention took this uncritically, succumbed to the propaganda), call folks which first fought with fascism, fascist knaves.

At the same time, the International Military Tribunal comes to the Katyń cause, Soviets had not a chance to push the charge onto Germans, but now, with Poland discredited, nobody press the charges. Admittedly, this is not a full proof, but only circumstantial evidence. But connected to the only possibility of committing the crime, with assured cooperation of the Militia and the Safety Forces in a totalitarian regime, where irrevocable needed is a full authority, this proof seems serious enough.

There is still more, every proper detective notices the way of acting, "modus operandi" of the criminals. In Russia there was a long tradition of the pogroms, many organized by police, Gendarmerie and Ochrana and in collusion with the Black Hundreds, exactly the scum. Always authorities denied any cooperation of, but all people believed this. However, almost 40 years before happened one exceptional case, where despite the denials, such a proof appeared documented. This concerns the Siedlce pogrom in September 1906, where the opposition managed to intercept Gendarmerie books and secret reports.

A special Jewish investigation committee that published its findings in 1910 in Leipzig stated:

"It now becomes clear to all, that pogroms of political nature in Poland can be carried out only through military forces. Pogroms of the Russian-type are out of question in Poland. The people are civilized and incapable of bestialities that take place in Russia. Russian authorities were unable to push the Polish masses into pogroms. Poles will never be persuaded to become a mere tool in the hands of the hated Russian government."

Jewish historian K. Kaspi, in a „Book of Remembrance of the Commune of Siedlce", commented:

"For the first time in the history of the czarist Russia it has been officially found out the pogrom organized directly by the institutions of power (government) and not by mob, as the usual official statements about pogroms assured."

How could the Soviets organize now a pogrom in Poland, if all efforts of the Tsarist Russia failed? A good question. They sure had no more backing between Poles, as before the Tsar regime. All knew, the Germans tried this too, after the 1939 campaign in Warsaw, using the news about the NKWD terror in the east, Soviet occupation. Also in Łódź, November 11, 1939 they destroyed by explosives a memorial of Kosciusko, pointing to Jews as culprits and next a Synagogue, suggesting a revenge of Poles. They never met with success.

But from this time, many Poles were already dead. Not murdered at random—it was a careful selection to decapitate the community. The primary task were the educated people, intelligentsia, natural leaders, any outstanding spirits or with local influence, creators, any clever heads, as second choice the most active. The Soviets at the start were even more effective, as the Germans. They had more experience and expertise, at the revolution they murdered almost all to their own intelligentsia. Now they sought any independent thinkers, using a fine toothed comb. All the people, consisting the conscience and mind of nation either were dead, or in prison, or run away, or at best kept a low profile. Too few remained to reason with the rather obtuse and stupid mob, who believed to help the justice. What happened was the copy of classical Russia pogroms, a hunt on humans with a chase.

A typical Russia pogrom just as sure, as the pattern of another mass-murder, in Jedwabne, was the copy of a German horror with fire. But this was another matter, still unknown to the Polish people at the time. It happened outside the borders, in what became the German territory of East Prussia. More information follows in the next book, as Angus got some knowledge of this only in 1951 and more later.

Such was the end of mutual history, the Jewish minority decreased from more from 10 percent to about 1 percent and rapidly dwindled more as the Jews could emigrate away to Israel. Never mind what the authority offered, no way could they stop them. Finally in Poland remained about 0.1 percent, either the communist renegades, or some genuine Poles of Moses faith, who really shared their patriotism between Poland and Israel. In the black times, which soon began, many Poles ran away too from the country at the risk of life. Some of them found a temporary shelter in Israel, and were met there with aid and sympathy. Obviously the former Polish Jews knew the truth and kept the Poles in good memory. Despite the libel and hearsay of people, who at the crisis, never did anything, only called the news about the Holocaust a lie, to tell exactly a Polish lie, the simple people still took and held to each other.

From the time of the ugly conversation on gathering of MWP, Angus finally estranged to NSZ. Already earlier, drew him only the easy possibility to join a great organized troop, get weapon and go on war with Germany. He judged this the main and political differences of second-rate importance. However, clearly the Swiętokrzyska Brigade now had another task.

Instead, Angus, with more and more conviction took to the PPS. The difference between discussion on meeting of MWP, and conversation with professor Niedzielski was huge, on not one, but many grades. Niedzielski neither induced Angus to anything, nor did try to persuade him any. Preferably it was Angus, who returned to conversations on subject of PPS. From one side, he got knowledge about the glorious tradition of freedom fighting, and then he checked himself many doubts. This outlook on life was contrary with his former beliefs, which he earned from the house and accepted as a kid. So this he questioned, and Niedzielski remained strict to answers only, as before keeping the base of equality in arguments.

First reservations referred to the Marxist theory. Admittedly Angus did not have an exact knowledge, only an abbreviation. He never managed to compel to reading if only first volume of "Capital" though he did try, and commonly suchlike never before happened, each book usually he read from board to board. Even if he did not understand all, always found some interesting places. But this time, he confined to popular abbreviations and handbook shortcuts, or so called cribs. Even these displeased him, chiefly the math apparatuses of Marx. This was not proper mathematics, but misunderstanding or an error on purpose. The idea of value was unclear, the overvalue more so, and all the rest leaned on volatile sands. Where Marks tried to display a law of universal gravitation, it was more like the theory of relativity. It looked out as if Marx ran away to doubtful mathematics trying to gain propaganda impression, to convince the shaky and to inspire doubtful followers with his belief. This got only worse, as the next "inspired" continuators so screwed off cat with tail on, that Marx would never recognize his work.

On the first look was obvious, the concept of value is not only fault of precision or a little blemished, but charged with a principal error. Abstracting from this, there was no way to define absolute value, but only estimate. The idea of an average is a pure nonsense and clears nothing. Any objective value does not exist, only different values for different consumers, receivers or makers. Introducing absolute value depending on the expense of producers, the quantity of social indispensable work is a pure nonsense. According to this, a technical progress reduces the value of all, including also the already produced goods. Such pattern left no place for any progress, neither technical nor scientific, not to mention the mental property. On the other side without this point, the whole theory breaks down, there is an inner logical contradiction. In short: „reductio ad absurdum".

Roughly and in short, this was what Angus with engagement and fire, in one breath and not too orderly a shape, threw out by this conversation with Niedzielski. He hurried, because sincerely speaking expected and feared a violent reaction. It is well, if this will only end with stinging contestation, worse if the man, he already admired and respected stops the talks with him. However, "Amicus Plato, sed magis amica Veritas," he had to hold on and wanted quickly to tell all he considered a truth.

However, Niedzielski heard out Angus to the end, never intercepting the flow of words and then said:

"Marxism is only one, past stage from the history of socialism. Normally people accept some working hypotheses which explain certain events, but later with increasing observations, when the hypotheses already may not stand, it becomes necessary to create the next. And so on—the usual track in the science and knowledge. Socialism already grew over the Marx interpretations, and now the most valued theoretician is, or was before the war, De Man, a Belgian politician. For me personally he proposes the most convincing theory and gladly I will lend you his book so you could read it and judge by oneself."

Seeking out "The Psychology of Socialism," he added:

- "But on second thought, I think that you are unjust towards Marx. He was not such an opinionated dogmatist, as you imagine. Suppose you think about him, as a young man, intelligent and full of fervor, quick in language and versatile tongue, with open head and liberal opinions. Alas, at middle age he went out already quickly and hurried desperately in pain, wanting to deliver what it felt like. For the first time in life he stopped at an obstacle he could not manage and many ideas left unfinished. Besides, the idea of value was not his guilt, he used such scientific concept, which presented the contemporary economy, if much imperfect. Marks was neither a mathematician nor economist, only a philosopher and partly a historian, the mathematics bit he did bad. But as for 19 century, he carried in astounding much fresh and many of his statements are accurate. Again, the foggy idea, up to today remained difficult. In short, in his time he made a progress and played a useful role. After all, in none sphere one can form complementary notions with knowledge from the past. Anyway, Marx himself said, he does not wish to become an authority and never created a closed theory, the main is freedom of thinking and more of development. It is not his responsibility, what did make from him the epigones."

A surprise, but this conversation developed exact according to his thoughts. He accepted this with enthusiasm, also the book. These were neither instructions, nor arguments, only materials for independent thinking. As before, he decided to remain critical. The arguments of one side are from nature unilateral, as well as butter buttered. But necessary first to learn them to find counterarguments and take own reasoning, if need be to defy something. He decided to take the standing of "advocatus diaboli" even, if he assumed another way, because he needed time for enough thinking. No doubt, some question may appear, he believed in his own intelligence.

Nevertheless, the book did make an impact. He met with a new approach and way of showing the known facts and judgments sound. Though he never expected so, all fitted to his own feelings and knowledge, but drafted better than he could manage in his own reason. Of course, there was much new stuff about which he was not in a position to say more. Socialism not as support of some intended in advance doctrine, but a natural need of mind, the logical continuation of independence and equality. In brief, a supplement and expansion of a full democracy.

Angus has not a distinctly specified political opinion. From the house he got a preference for Endecia (national democracy), but still undecided. Of course he believed in democracy, after the heart of the French Revolution ideals of Freedom, Equality, Brotherhood, or rather the Polish version, Freedom, Equality, and Independence. With enthusiasm he treated even the school-bookish readings about Polish and foreign affairs, about this subject, he found, of exceptional beauty.

In happened, the greatest part of organization PPS exactly added this motto to its name, PPS-WRN, (Wolność, Równość, Niepodległość = Freedom, Equality, Independence. In fact, already when he heard about traditions of freedom-fighting of PPS, the affair was decided. Now, after reading this book, the decision was final. These were the ideals to which he took, inch by inch.

The analysis of history by De Man appeared correct. In the feudal establishment, both freedom and equality limited to a few, but there was some compensation for the weak. A social contract, the weak subordinated to the stronger, but these accepted the duty of care about the feebler, of well-being and surety of the whole community, at least in theory. However, when this regime outlived his utility, falling under the blows of the promoters of liberty, unrestricted freedom, the weak suffered the abuse of strong and rich. The privileged could use this without mutual commitments. Exactly the poor and weak did carry the main burden of reform, fought for the changes, so now they felt deceived and wronged. Socialism grew out from their disappointment, sometimes even yearning for bygones. If the people settled with the lack of equality before, next remained nothing to remunerate this.

The arguments well-chosen, as if especially for Poles. For them, former equality became like a destiny, if sometimes a curse, the desire remained in the hearts and blood. Maybe this resulted from envy, as Poles are an envious folk. In other countries, people who succeeded encompassed in nimbus, in Poland preferably in dislike and suspicions. From the beginnings of aboriginal democracy, Poles always on first place put local and people’s equality, often keeping only the appearances up in absurd form and deceiving themselves. Golden liberty and equality, a gentlemen’s agreement, became the cause of growth, and next also collapse of ancient Res Publica. First, because all people wanted to join and feel the liberties, so Poland hadd her period of splendor, temporarily creating the most progressive organism in Europe. Mighty attractive, became a powerful state. Then, with disappearing self-control and care about common prosperity, as the advantages got use only for egoistic aims, independence and equality degenerated in stubborn inner turmoil. As a result, there was nothing they could coordinate, even common help. Anyway, the democracy and socialism appeared the most logical regime for Poles, coincident with their character.

Despite this, for the sake of objectivity, Angus wanted to discuss from an opposite post. Because his lack of arguments, he decided temporarily to scoop from Jack London books which he read in past, some reasoning for and against socialism. Although at the time he did not understand and was not much interested in this subject, something of it stuck in his memory.

"I am for evolution, natural selection and survival of the best, followed by improvement of species. I believe in competition, choosing the best, the most valuable," he began. "This is the motor of progress, the outstanding are most creative. People from nature are not equal. Some are more, others less worth. With universal equality, there shall disappear the progress, society stops developing, first a stagnancy, and then degeneration and collapse, exactly like in ancient Res Publica. Anyway, universal equality is impossible to reach, instead all will begin to stir with nobody on the top, finally the people perish, or will go in slavery."

"I see you help yourself you with so called naturalist theory. Well, in nature occurs beside rivalry a cooperation, both are important and do not exclude themselves. On the whole, the less developed the kind, this more stinging the selection and rivalry, the white majority of plants and simple animals perishes so, from thousand or sometime many thousands only single exemplars carry on and multiply. For example, a pine tree produces hundreds of thousands of seeds, only a few them sprout out, but still fewer became what may be a beginning of a future tree. Next, from the young little trees over 90 percent perish by internal contest, only several percent from other causes. However, a forest gives better chance for survival despite the deadly contest, it also protects. The separate trees have still worse chance. Alike the animals, living in hoards, the contest between, nevertheless cooperate for common good. The higher developed lives, the more complicated relations, in case of humans most, but generally apply the same bases as with all forms of life."

„There is not an inconsistency between competition and cooperation. Any choice, one or the other, is false and opinionated. This is more, as only the matter of the elasticity of mind. Some philosophies, precisely these, who founded fascism, use a pseudo-science, false interpretation of nature to support own theories. Competition on all stages of life saves the most valuable exemplars, true. But to work so, these individuals should have an equal start, fair chances. At least, estimated fair. Never happens an ideal, artificial, special prepared conditions would be unnatural."

„What a competition, if the position forecast the place of birth, decides the funds of the family, social position or the estate. People of intelligence, reason and talented or other excellent achievements have to lose with the rich and influential, mediocre, even much worse, if from early age they had privileges and next met with favors. Janek the musician is foreclosed, condemned to failure. The first place takes a virtuoso, maybe not exactly such whom an elephant treated on the ear, but less talented, yet for him the parents hopped, combed long mane with a lock and dressed with velvet ribbons and vest. Next present him to friends as the seventh miracle of a world and of course assure the best teachers, a costly advertisement program and so on. It is not a competition, but rather a parody of fair play. That is, why the organized, developed but already ossified communities lost wars against barbarians, where the most gifted and able leaders had a clear run. A barbarian society started from a worse position, but evolved and developed quickly. For example, if on one side commanded the best experienced warrior and on the other at least a hereditary prince, never mind if neither fit nor brave novice, so who may win a battle?" – commented Niedzielski.

Angus tried another notion: "It seems to me, the starting position is important only at the beginning, and then decide the personal values. It is so, as if from different places on earth raised many balloons, or in the sea are dipped out many spheres with different load. From the beginning they can place high or low, but then will run to their natural levels, raise or sink, according to this, what they have in."

"Well, not exactly. In the time of going through, they may become damaged or destroyed."

Angus stopped silent. He remembered, he told this to a man who precisely suffered heavily with his health, when going through from a low start. He succeeded, but on the way lost his health permanently. Never likely to recover a full efficiency, he can live and work (in fact long, thanks to protecting his wife), but only provided he takes care all the rest of his life.

„Anyway this concerns not only the exceptional talented commanders, which may manage to tear up, at least these who survives. But for evolution most valuable is such an establishment, in which also better and average men have to find their chance and fair play. A hard task, because nobody may forbid caring for his progeny, creating good conditions. There is a need to create a method, allowing all to become educated and achieve promotion."

„In a feudal regime, an outstanding man may created a tribe, and then, even if the members do not inherit his positive features, and his issue will put in degeneration, even so keeps as before a preferential position. In capitalism, those who will knock up and enrich, deliver wealth to issue, but if this issue effects nothing, it usually loses the estate, merely the change goes faster. But maybe soon the people shall elaborate a new mechanism protecting estate and position for a longer time, maybe in a form, like to hereditary ground rights. One example is in England, high tax for inheritance for a while made difficult inheriting estates, but all laws and legal acts carry only a temporary effect. You have to understand these actions are not statistical, but dynamical. Soon the most outstanding and best paid brains begin to work over this, how to change such alteration, to return to the „status quo ante". This starts a race of ideas. In course it grows only the degree of legal complications."

Niedzielski and Angus discussed next the role of individuals, the most outstanding, in history and development of the societies. In this case, coincidently both reasoned, that society consists after all from individuals. Materialism historically affirms that single people fill only the need, when in developing society such a need arises. They have not much influence, if not this one, his place would take another. Marx does not finish the argument, but arrives at such a picture.

"Anyway, basically, Marx presents a covert mysticism. Consistent with this, there exists allocation of the higher degree, all the matter has a genuine consciousness. The society is a complete organism, and people are the cells. In steps, the matter evolves by itself and organizes, this way arises life. The life organization causes the next change of consciousness and then this consciousness evolve all the way to collective consciousness, with the people becoming cells of higher individuality. There is not proof that so it is, but this is all that one can tell. Without doubting they are too far going presumptions, mental speculations" – remarked Niedzielski.

"The ancient picture of universe, in which inglorious mysteries explained with creation effected by existence of God, change now with all the matter ascribed with mysterious, magic properties. This is belief, not science. It is a proper transfer of religions or magic on another level. Carol Marx had an astonishing imagination; he would make now a great success as SF writer."

This discussion ended with a conclusion, that while there is no other proof, it belongs to accept, that outstanding individuals have an outstanding contribution to creating progress and from this depends the fate of societies. An example, as between theory and Marxist practice, especially current Marxism, exist divergences. If the Marxists loudly speak another way, this is self-evident hypocrisy, in fact they feel ashamed admit this. The rest of debate remained inconclusive.

In May 1944. Angus, bent down over a notebook, wrote down following positions:

• 1 table with bulky top and 1 pew or chair,
• 2 narrow shelves for reagents ,
• 1 broad shelf for devices ,
• 1 closed cupboard for dangerous substances,
• 1 gas burner, or two acetylene (done from lamps),
• 2 stands with holders, links and paws ,
• 2 nests of beakers of different size ,
• A few china evaporating dishes,
• 1 little and 1 big mortar, a few crucibles ,
• Retorts little and average - and so on.

All together four pages, entitled: „Furniture and equipment of the Laboratory".

Did he develop a sudden interest with the experimental side of science which he learned only from theory? To some degree, yes, but better clear the case by content of further footnotes, for example:

• No 2. THUNDEROUS GAS PHOTOSENSITIVE The mixture of chlorine and hydrogen in equal Volumes ... Side-note: Use of active carbon, may start the reaction and explosion after some time (without light, delayed).
• No 10 MIEDZIANKIT, SHEDYT Mixtures of KALIUM CHLORATE with combustible matters, how sulfur, red phosphor, carbon, sugar, sawdust, even powdered milk, metals are strong explosives, very susceptible on friction (too sensitive). Therefore practical importance held only mixtures with oils, kerosene, as susceptibility is reduced thanks to the lubricating proprieties of this substances. Miedziankit was received first by dipping kalium chlorate in a paper bag into petrol... Invented by Stanislaw I. Łaszczyński, used in mining industry, during WW I also for German and Italian hand grenades etc. (Note, next in Polish Resistance, see "Farbiarnia").
• No 14. SHOOTING PULWER. ...
• No 15. AMMONIUM NITRATE (AMMONIUM SALTPETER) and ANFO
• No 16 LOUD BANGING REPORT. 3 parts of Kalium nitrate molten with 2 parts of Kalium polysulfide react after a moment strong impetuous, almost 90% of energy changes into acoustic impression, producing a terrible bang....
• No 36. NITROBENZENE. Received in the reaction of nitric acidity with benzene, easily accessible, produced industrial. It has the smell of bitter almonds and it is poisonous strongly. Because of good solubility in sulfuric acid, a convenient intermediate for producing dinitrobenzene and trinitrobenzene, strong explosives (easily to start, than direct from benzene). ..
• No 37. FUSE. Most easy way, soaking the paper, cotton, or a piece of string in potassium saltpeter and drying. It belongs to adjust a proper isolation, for example using ribbons to the insulations of electricity. Smolders slowly, time depends from degree of the rest moisture, necessary every time to essay. ....
• No 48, GOLDSCHMIDT POWDER The oxides of metals mixed with powdered aluminum. To ignition necessary high temperature, but produces much high temp, up to 3 000 degrees. So called Thermite, combines the oxide of iron and powdered aluminum in amount 3: 1. It lights by a magnesium ribbon or white-hot iron bar....
• And No 48 a) To ignite it convenient is a fresh mixture of 2 parts of zinc dust and 1 part of powdered sulfur, unites violently, sufficient to start the main reaction. Better uses at least 25g (tablespoon) or more for certainty.
• No 52 HECTOGRAPHIC MASS Gelatin soaked in a double amount of water, melts in heated glycerin. If necessary continue the heating, but indirect, by dipping the vessel in hot water. The possible bubbles of air on surface remove by dabbing with hot metal or glass....
• No 53. HECTOGRAPHIC INK. Dark ink with the addition of glycerin and substances enlarging stickiness, for example gum Arabic, dextrin or even sugar. .... ....
• No 66. NITROGEN SUBOXIDE Received by prudent calcinations a little of ammonium nitrate (see No 15). It impels narcosis and abolishes self-control (so called cheering up gas, causes telling of truth, if chaotically). .... Next of course the main dishes:
• No 75. NITROCELLULOSE (SHOOTING COTTON)
• No 76. NITROGLYCERIN
• No 77. BLASTING GELATIN.
• No 81. MERCURY FULMINATE

What was the matter? In the underground schools, the imagination, at best some pictures had to substitute demonstrations, displays, not to mention students research. So now, would he do a trial and error running? Here is what happened:

In the spring 1944, political convictions and life outlook on Angus finally stabilized. Clear-cut, he became a dedicated sympathizer of PPS-WRN, a party with gorgeous traditions, which already soon had to finish his existence. (Like the murderers, after killing the nation of Prus, thieved the name of victims—now the assassins, police agents and executioners took the name of PPS, how a firm of long-standing and best opinion, deceitfully using it next to vile aims.)

Angus accepted the bases of modern socialism, which they discussed with professor Niedzielski. Socialism, as logical development and the irrevocable condition of democracy, with the ideal of the liberty and equality. Of course with full respect of the laws, including personal right to individuals, also the spiritual and material fruits of their work, but only own. (A hard task, fate and war caused, that he never inherited anything. Remaining a self-made man, saved the conflict of conscience.) In practice, the modern shape of socialism differs not much from liberalism, only in theory.

Anyway, forming of individuality did not solve problems. Like all young people, Angus was full of enthusiasm and wanted to act. World understanding makes the spirit rise, also a sense of duty, the need to follow his heart—or lose the heart and the whole world. As before, he sought an active role, especially in war with the enemy. The brighter and precise became the picture of world, the stronger inner constraint. He could not accept himself remaining idle.

Several times Angus turned to Niedzielski with plea for a definite task. Each time the answer was negative, at least in Angus’ feeling. Niedzielski explained, that as the member of the civilian net of conspiracy, he cannot contact the military organizations, especially the local AK Command. Lately he received the task, to prepare the documentation for the history of occupation, first collect the source archive of underground press. Sure it is a matter of fundamental importance; he has the professional education and takes much interest. It would be a true way-breaking achievement, if realized.

From the time Angus became a sympathizer of PPS-WRN, wanting to become a real member, he heard from Niedzielski the name of full member marks properly a person actively engaged in politics, and so it was better still to wait. Occasionally happened some small, marginal assistant work, of type "carry, bring back," besides as before access to all underground press (and so review all, what at the moment happened) and conversations straight without price. However the words are less than acting. At last Niedzielski gave him a pamphlet for German soldiers, asking if there would be possible to supply a good translation. Admittedly he knows well German language, but Angus told to him once about the exceptional competence of his mother.

In this manner Angus got one from the first copy of "Der Panzerknacker" (in free translation, a cracker to tanks—not to nuts). It was something like a popular handbook of fighting armor-plated cars and tanks, written partly in a slang. Many words and sentences had nothing common with literary language and Angus mother was in fact more satisfactory and competent person, no dialect was for her too dark. Worse with technical details and then Angus had to explain, about how it goes. The subject was fascinating, for first time he saw the exact anatomy of tanks, with marking feeble points and "Achilles heels" of each type. Alas it was incomplete as the descriptions concerned the construction of English, American, and of course Russian tanks, but the German ones were missing. The reader could exactly see, in which places most easy to inflame "Valentine," "Matilda," "Crusader," or "Churchill," which thickness and endurance has the neck of "Sherman," where and from which distance begins the dead angle for weaponry of T 34. Also, where placed are the fastened on short chains, metal corks, enabling the crew use manual defense, throwing out grenades nearby. In the pamphlet they added transparent, colored drawings and schemata with arrows, displaying every worthy advertences place on pictures of tanks, in several throws (only the most interesting, German tanks missing).

Anyway, by these descriptions it was possible to guess much about the German tanks. For Angus it was a revelation, he believed with such knowledge, he may be able to crush them one after another. He never grasped, this pamphlet was a propaganda stuff aimed to encourage German soldiers to fight the tanks, especially as the "Wehrmacht" lost the superiority in armored weapons. This text contained many lies, inducing soldiers to full-proof, or foolproof suicide, which may, but not necessarily, result in damage, and sometimes even annihilating the tank. But not many, the chances were not good; rather some tanks could be heavily frightened and act with more care and prudence.

Wanting to master the professional words a competent terminology, Angus bought on the black market, for his own money, an "Offiziers Taschenbuch" in two volumes about the dimensions of pretty big prayer books. In the first (or perhaps second volume?) about hundred pages were devoted to the use of explosives, the basics, counting the cargo and planning. At last, one chapter concerned mines, their arming and disarming, construction of traps and protecting himself. This was a second reveal, almost more important. More so, as there was detached a booklet with information about Soviet mines, their types and construction. After reading this, Angus came to conclusion that for guerrilla squad, the use of explosives and mines may replace heavy weapons, even artillery. The same task, contact the enemy with explosives, but not by shooting, rather a special delivery. Angus persistently sought, if he could catch on a miner’s training—but not a chance, for simple reasons. Explosives were extremal rare and precious; the few in possession were reserved for important actions, mainly for trains and railways. Poles received a minimum of weapons, and still less explosives, not mentioning additives, as detonators, primers and fuse. Some was handpicked from the German ammunition, and desperate essay. Nobody would entrust such valuable material in the hands of inexperienced boy.

In this Angus saw his niche, not ecological, but vital, his life mission. He decided to make the explosives. He had no doubts that he was able to do this. If others do and know, then he shall learn too. The first step is to find the right books. Therefore always he had luck and a good nose, and it also happened this time. What he found was not a professional, competent handbook, admittedly if he found such, with his poor training and knowledge it would be anyway of no use, incomprehensible. However, he found two books: one to the old high school, organic chemistry by Tołłoczko to the former eight class and the other still older and popular, "Simple chemical experiments for enthusiasts," edited 1920 in Lwów.

The first start told Angus that he had no blue idea about organic chemistry and even about what sort of animal it is. He was not bad in physics and mathematics; he read many scientific books, including also chemistry, and understood the chemical equations and formulas. If not the structural, mostly only the inorganic, on the level of third-class. With this basic education, thanks to excessive reading and imagination, he managed to understand, what he does not know and the first needs to understand about the contents of the first book, the second was easier, for amateurs. He had neither time, nor possibility to learn properly, did not even try. Merely about a week read the first, and when after a time lost ability to understand anything more, he took to the other. The days somehow rubbed out from his head, he missed the reminiscences, besides the pain in his head. After a week he still knew little about the subject, but at least more about the book. He could find any needed page, familiar with the contents, even if still mostly without understanding. He made many notes about the interesting fragments and even some footnotes for necessary further use, privately, only for himself. The books would remain his secret forever.

Unaware of this, Angus had the rare luck to find a book of a genius. The author, a chemist of old generation, enamored in the subject and wrote about organic chemistry like an inspired poet. What he created went far over the compulsory program of grammar schools, but with the optional stuff distinctly marked, by a small print, destined for fanatics of chemistry. Sure, already two decades outdated, in fragments obsolete, still lost not the charm rousing admiration. In 1939 and after the war, the standard academic became the handbook of organic chemistry by Paul Karrer, up-to-date and the best, lost in comparison to this masterpiece of exceptional beauty, which may happen only once.

However no time for reflections, he had to be practical and speedy and start the work. First, he had to find a place for it. Mother agreed to allow him half of the basement. The scientific interest of the son surprised her, yet she was preferably satisfied that he found a hobby which may hold him indoors, away from the outside dangers. His parents even promised some modest finance for the new scientific interest. Besides Angus dedicated to this aim of all of his economy He had only to promise, never violate the steady ransom reserve he carried to buy himself off just in case of a surprise round-up.

Now he told Niedzielski about his plans. He never knew, what and how it settled, without much enthusiasm, but in a couple of days he got the promise of some limited help, some reagents and a few tools from the laboratory of Ostrowiec Ironworks. To his surprise, he had to get this by Adam Szumilas, the mentioned son of the house owner, in which Angus with parents lived. Angus with Adam, were close colleagues, not as good friends as with the Matthew, but they had common interest in science, played occasionally in chess and volleyball and talked much in spare hours. Adam, who worked as a laboratory assistant in the Iron works, had to deliver to his amicable colleague who took an interest in chemistry, a couple of knickknacks, but without contributing experiments. He had neither the knowledge, not interest in private hobby of Angus, but only knew his friend considered working in laboratory and wanted to see what it is like. In this manner, in case of an unexpected mishap he took smaller risks of a chastisement or immediate beating for minor misdemeanor, surely amounting in worse case to a small larceny. Probably, this would not threaten his life.

In a few days, Angus received a couple of bottles and jars with acids and hydroxides and carbonates of sodium and potassium, ammonia, and gradually other salts and reagents. But chlorates were unobtainable, in the time of the need for laboratory work received in gram quantities, settled in accounts and recognized by own sign. Surely not only Angus came on this simple manner of receiving explosives, invaders knew this too, at last from the time, large amounts vanished from the match fabrics. After reflecting, Angus decided to concentrate on making the nitrocellulose and nitroglycerin, and probably the blasting gelatin. Alas, also glycerin turned out to be inaccessible, but he hoped to buy this in a common druggist shop, perhaps as water solution, he remembered that once mother used this to cosmetic aims. The substance must be on black market, sure for a suitable upper price. Temporary he may start with nitrocellulose, as there was no lack of cotton wool.

There appeared some difficulties, first with cooling. The adapted laboratory had not running water, neither the house nor the avenue. Angus had to bring the water in buckets from the well. According to instructions the nitration reaction should run at a temperature never exceeding 20 grades of Celsius and the reaction produced much warmth. The overheating, according to the description, may start an uncontrollable oxidation. If he began the work earlier, in winter, there would be snow and ice, but now, not a chance. Admittedly, he could, according to the book, lower the water temperature by dissolving salts, most effective with ammonium nitrate to about -20 C, but he had only a limited amount, necessary for ANFO experiments. So he preferred for cooling to change the water often.

Next, at introductory looking round received reagents he met with surprises. Sulfuric acidity, hydroxides and salts answered to descriptions as read before, but nitric acid altogether not, it appeared queer. First it was heavier, he weighted 100 ml and found not the expected 140–142g but more, about 1.50g—an impossible mistake.

Besides, the book recommended to heat and boil it for removal of the nitrogen oxides, but this boiled in temperature much lower than 120 C degrees. This began bubble by 80 grades C and all-time the acid steamed straight mad, in center white vapors turned out brown. At last it proved corrosive and aggressive, destroying almost all the area where a drop fell, also with brown smoke. When asked about this, Adam explained this stuff is the so-called "Hoco," (in German "hoch koncentriert" —high concentrated), round 100 percent nitrogen acid. Not the about 60–65 percent commonly used formerly and described in the books Angus had. Of course higher concentrations and smaller content of water theoretically was better. However, it was necessary know more about the unusual, mysterious substance, which even diluted with water became hot and developed brown nitrogen oxides. For example, Angus read before that even the normal nitric acid has marked oxidizing characters and if spilled, may cause ignition of straw, wood shavings and similar organic matter. Now he found, that with the Hoco, this happens often, almost as a rule.

Sure, the difference of the nitration recipe and prescriptions should be expected; well, logically anticipated and counted out in advance. However, Angus as foreseer felt lost as walking on mowing sands in fairyland, the working speed suffered. By steps, he noticed with inadequate cooling, best to let the nitrating mixture, of nitric and sulfuric acid overnight in a closed glass. Water, fresh from the well, had about 8 grades C. and in the summer may only rise. Changing often the buckets and working with small amounts of reagents, he tried to held the temperature up to 15 C, never exceed 20 C grades. Sure, the true reagent is the nitric acid, the sulfuric only ties (binds) the water, both the amount contained in the starting mixture, as the created in the reaction, so with more concentrated acids there was less water to bind. In short, using Hoco radically reduced the need for sulfuric acid. For an experienced professional this would be self-evident, but a greenhorn had not much trust, neither in the logics nor his counting ability. He noticed, adding sulfuric acid reduces the fuming and next, by adding of ammonium nitrate, sparsely, also the brown fumes disappear (an accidental observation). He read before, by the production, appearing of nitrogen oxides is an alarming sign marking the start of oxidation, with a rise of temperature, so he assumed, a small addition to the reagents should be a preference. For the first batches, he used a standard mixture of equal volumes of acids and about 1–2 percent of ammonium nitrate; next he increased the amount of sulfuric acid 10–20 percent. The nitrating mixture he left on the night and in the morning, cooled with fresh, cold water, usually on free air, in a shadow.

The samples of cellulose cotton looked out the same as before the nitration, so again he embraced in doubt. He had no idea how to research and to appraise the product. After rinsing in water, a weak solution of soda and again water and drying, they burned easily and rapidly, but did not explode, and anyway, according to literature this was expected. To convince himself what the matter was, he explored this in such manner: He put the samples in small bottles filled with carbon dioxide and heated them. Of course the ordinary cotton only blackened, but the nitrated caught fire and after a moment the bottle blew out. In fact the sample lit similar to old photographic film, and in the books he found that celluloid membrane is mainly nitrocellulose, Besides, the substance had a use as glue, so-called crystal-cement. However this product did not dissolve in typical solvents, a mixture of alcohol and ether, only swelled. In acetone too, it solved incompletely, left much of residue. Searching further he saw there exist nitrocellulose with different degrees of nitrating, which means a different number of attached nitro groups. He had not idea how to check this, the problem needed analyzing of the nitrogen content, but this went out of his skill. But a hope still existed that if this nitrocellulose swells in solvents, she may also bind the nitroglycerin. His aim was the blasting gelatin.

But glycerin was nowhere to be found and after most extensive trying he recognized the affair hopeless. Without glycerin he could not make nitroglycerin, so all the efforts ended in nothing. If he did find glycerin, could he produce the nitroglycerin indeed? According to the expert, yes, but most probably he would not survive this. So it was a blessing in disguise. There is not a sure answer, with not enough data, and several versions are possible. But like they spoke about him some half a year earlier, the doctors’ expectations would be unfavorable. There was a poor chance to go out safely if only because he probably may produce the nitroglycerin but would not proper purify it, let over a small acid content, what would start a decay and self-explosion. This is not a guess, but a certainty, later he got the experience and expertise.

However, then he considered this a catastrophe of his plans. He began to search other possibilities, substituting nitroglycerin with something with similar properties, what he could produce from accessible raw material. How called it the Germans, "Ersatz." Normally, in the time of war and full blockade it was difficult to get anything genuine, it was "Ersatz" all around, from "almost genuine" coffee or tea to the wooden boots, paper clothes, artificial soap. Can he use other alcohols, even the simple ones? In theory all the nitric esters could be used as explosives.

They were two most obvious possibilities, glycol and ethyl alcohol. Angus decided to begin from the later, because with this first too, were problems, exactly the second he held in hands. Always disposable, only to the pub he constantly bought the illicitly distilled bimber (moonshine liquor), commonly 50 percent solution of ethyl alcohol, but also deliverers 90 percent and even of 95 percent spirit. Such commodity he diluted and could add a little more water, an additive profit. This time he will not add, but get rid of water, Angus found the rule of draining the spirit with a fired lime and prepared spirit over 99 percent. The small rest content of water may be of no greater importance, if he found glycerin, not pure, it would be too dirty and contain water, both technical and cosmetic. (He knew then, that nitro-glycol, also dinitro -diglycol were in use, but this was then a news and the information inaccessible. But perhaps, precisely therefore they turned out too hard to get.)

Angus began experiments with ethyl alcohol but could not master the reaction. Always after some time (changing), it started a violent reaction of oxygenation, combined with the giving off the brown smoke of the nitrogen oxides. He repeated the experiments changing parameters and in different conditions, but the outcome was the same, and exothermic reaction with so much heat. The whole mass rapidly boiled and splashed away, so quick, he had no time for detailed observation. Once, he had a serious problem to explain to his mother, why all his clothes literally fell from him in shreds. But there was still no progress. Already the D-day, June 6, had elapsed, the allies came ashore in France, the war would end soon and he still was not ready. He hurried, working under huge pressure; what a shame if again he achieves nothing but a failure. Anyway, he had to make interruptions, day or two for healing the skin of his hands, till they became proficient again. Then he visited Niedzielski, or played chess with Matthew.

After the war, about similar liquid mixtures, called propergols, applied for propulsion of rockets (jesters added—and as drug for cough, filled nose as well by constipation). Another joke: a group of sightseers stands at wall on which hang the portraits of men, all with bands on one from the eyes. One watching ask the conductor, "Are there portraits of pirates?" "No, they are the famous, great chemists." Angus he was not a chemist, not even an apprentice, only an amateur developing acid-resistant hands. He did not deserve such distinction, lose an eye. But there happened a few crises, when the reacting bulk turned suddenly in brown gases, a strangling, stinging smoke. Despite the open windows, he could not catch air, lost altogether orientation in the basement and almost saw the perspective on the next, better world. Luckily, the atmosphere quickly cleared, but next experiments he did in open-air, usually beyond the houses and barn, near the forest.

This event suggested to him a new idea: He read about the use of different stinking matters, for example phosphor hydrides to the smoking out of defendants from detached outside stronghold, so called casemates. Angus read a hearsay, they had so „pleasant aroma" the crew instantly jumped out, never considering the fire and bullets. With the eyes of his soul he anticipated how after rushing this cargo on the tank ventilators taking air inside, the crew opens and runs out from inside, unable to see, where they are. If the fuel and next ammo would not catch fire, the tank could be conquered and taken and the soldiers become prisoners, before they again got able to fight. It was much better than to destroy it all.

In the next essays, he settled the best proportions of the special aim mixture. Properly they best owed between 10 and 20 percent, let’s say to 20 percent alcohol and the rest of nitric acid (no sulfuric acid necessary). Project of Angus presented such a manner that one container may contain both reagents, but separate, steady from accidental contact. In a few, exceptional umpteen seconds after the compounds contact would begin a violent reaction, leading to the blow-out of the container. Next the whole would impetuously convert in a cloud of biting smoke. On beginning he proposed use for this aim a liter glass bottles wound round with gums rings or a cable, to assure bottle does not break in time preceding the action. Maybe also in addition it would be good comply a few hooks holding the bottle from slipping away from the tank, where it was lain. Alcohol could be placed in of gum balloon which some time would keep away the acid and pierced direct before use, or in glass ampoule which would be broken by a rod, going through the cork. In fact he hoped that next someone will elaborate a better construction, but it was necessary to begin from something.

(Only now Angus imagined what a risk Adam Szumilas took in transporting the reagents, not only because of some unexpected inspection. Driving a bicycle with a couple of bottles with „Hoco" was about as risky as traveling with a live, tender bomb—even more so, because he surely traveled around, by pathless tracks, to miss any possible control. Well, he was competent and an experienced chemist, he knew what he was doing, although not why, because Angus kept mum and never opened his mouth to tell him what it was about.)

After half of June Angus met an unknown man, to whom he had to present the outcomes of up-to-date work. Not much of a success. For first time it rubbed up to him the simple truth, that a client or chief, like a horse, has valves on his eyes, as a rule wants only this, what he expected first in his imagination. Sure, the inventor has a lot more imagination, but even if he proposed the gold apple, anyway this would be of no importance. In his adult life, Angus met with many such situations, but never managed to convince anybody to the more valuable ideas, unless exactly in accord with the expected. No demand for side effects. To tell it short, if for example the principal wants a project, how best to remove mud and the inventor proposes a manner, to change the mud in gold, he would convince not a soul. At best the client shall look at him how on a madman or impostor. This is a common event and from their own experience all creative people know this. This is why they all try to gain an autonomous position before old age, to get independent of the shortsighted chiefs. Some people have an exceptional gift of convincing, but this rarely comes in pair with a creative ability. If one has the first, he needs not the other all his lifelong.

Anyway, it was not too bad, the interlocutor heard Angus quietly to the end. He said that he appraised the achieved progress, and personally, he did not expect so much, but the main are the explosives and on this shall Angus concentrate. He encouraged Angus to further work and promised a further backing, meaning the supply of reagents, supposedly Angus did not want to resign.

What about Angus? Well, in other circumstances he would consider that one more of lost affairs, though he put in all which he had inside, it was only wasted time. He may again drop in depression. If this did not happen, he did not discourage and as before continued the work; it was because the noted reaction fascinated him. The brief interruption allowed him to think, next he decided on any account to clear the mysterious happenings he noticed by pure chance. To do it, it was necessary to lengthen somehow the time of reaction, stretch it so much, especially the beginning, he could catch up with the observations. He did know nothing for sure, but had the feeling, irresistibly, that, let’s it say openly now, if at the time he had no an idea, an autocatalytic reaction may lead to the unexpected secret of nature.

The first problem concerned a better cooling. Keeping the temperature down would make possible more detailed observations. But this he could only dream of, the technical means in his disposal precluded the idea, impossible. All he could do was to start from a few grades lower temperature, for some second at the beginning, but once the reaction started, it took place with lightning speed. So he had to run away with lightning speed too and the only success was, if he did this in time. The cooling should be not several, but at least hundred of times more intensive. More so, without mechanical mixing, the manual was simply too dangerous.

He decided to change radically the pattern of experiments. At the start, he reduced the amount and volume of reagents, next placed them, without mixing, in separate, thin phases, hoping the shallow, slim liquid films would allow a better scatter of the high temperature and reduce the warmth effect. He advanced by locating on the bottom of china photographic dish thin coating of alcohol, then using a funnel with long foot pour below a little of nitric acid. Thanks to the specific density, the reagents did not mix at once, and anyway the starting speed still was too big. So next he divided the reagents with a film of water, there began a diffusion, at first not interfering with the separate layers, next in the result of reaction mixing. This pattern allowed the time to stretch observations happened straight fascinating. On the border of separate phases, appeared first a spot of green color, becoming intensely emerald, stronger, expanded and began to pulsate, as if alive. Finally it grew on all contents and started a vivid reaction with blisters of gas, causing mixing. The speed of reaction grew, but he could control it by the amounts of reagents and of water. He could hold it to only moderate speed, then the green color vanished with time, the solution turned yellow and bubbled like soda water, or rather, a bright lemonade.

Angus recognized the oxygenation process; however, he imagined something exceptional, to tell it straight, supernatural or magic features. He believed to see separate, taken away from the integral functions of life, a possible way to artificial life or at least an imitation. Even more strengthen these fantasy presumption the fact, the sun rays influenced or caused the first appearing of the green spot, which began the reaction. He checked this by protecting the dish with reagents from light by black paper, next making a hole; the reaction started first in the lit up place.

Admittedly photosynthesis is a counterpart to breathing, but he imagined that both proceedings have a connection, maybe a common pattern. Both reactions are part of a slow, in a low temperature, running reaction, which was, up to now, possible only in live organism, which nobody copied in laboratory. Now, such a possibility appeared. There is no need to add that all this nonsense resulted from the boy’s ignorance. The green color appeared because of creation of glyoxal monomer, next turning into a colorless trimer. However, these experiments, after years, in fact formed the basis of two patents, on glyoxal production. There is still more in the matter, the autocatalysis reaction may copy a few life reactions. Anyway, at the time Angus was aware, he stands before a problem overshadowing him, he may never explain, clear or even understand this. He decided to return to the matter sometime, only better prepared. In fact it happened after years, the basis of patents referring to produce glyoxal.

Angus was so deeply engaged in this exploration that for first time in the war he did not watch the news in detail. In fact the invasion in Normandy a little disappointed him. From the beginning he did not believe in German fortifications, the famous Atlantic Wall—a simple bluff. Unjust, admittedly year ago German much bragged and advertised for demonstration but to year 1944 they built impressive fortifications. However the defensive artillery could not match the powerful swimming batteries, or concrete the steel armor, not to speak about the transport of ammunition and hoards by the most convenient marine road. The allied armored ships could change position; the German cannons and strongholds never. At last the aerial overpower assured immediate intervention by air and special bombs designed to crush the strongest objects in the history of wars, the shelters of submarines, easily smashed common fortifications. The landing had to succeed, but then the allied armies walked with a trip on pace. Hitler assigned on the forlorn position his best general. If the Field Marshal Rommel got suitable means and free hand, perhaps, he may manage to beat the American and English armies and push them again to see. Luckily, Hitler insisted to command personally and he held all, also Rommel, on a short leash. At the time, he already lost his so-called intuition and caused more and more injuries to Germany.

Now, he forbade to move the army from Pas de Canal, still awaiting there the main offensive. In fact, Rommel achieved ever a greater wonder, than Kesselring last year in Italy, deterring the allies by his talent only. Elapsed week after week and still the allies could not push from the umpteen km of maritime range. But this could not last forever, at least the impounded Caen and Cherbourg, but both ports were so badly destroyed, that no way could they make the center to send the supply for new landing armies.

At any other time Angus would be mad, but now he had not the time. The news about the stroke on Hitler’s life did not surprise him. By now, every foolish German "Feltfebel" (corporal) must know the war was definitely lost. Sound reason pointed out, the best way for Germany would be to get rid of Hitler. With Hitler, the universal symbol of evil, nobody would negotiate. But after a successful coup d’état and creation of a new government, with Germany—why not? So for the professional officers and command, this was the wise course and proper patriotic duty. Germany could evade the worst calamities and war punishment, surely get better conditions and relief. With ascent either to west or east there may be maneuvering place, but all this happened to late to be effective. Angus heard many comments, the Germans had not proper experience in conspiring. The Poles in over a century, collected more skill and expertise, for such a purpose they sure would share their knowledge, tie limited contacts. Never mind the bygones, the German freedom fighters, if they showed any want of aid, would meet the offer of any possible help by people, who learned their lessons in many bloody massacres; the first instruction with their mother milk. In fact, besides Gestapo, SS, RSHA and other heavy-duty mass murder and homicide services, also Abwehr (Military Intelligence) tried to penetrate the Polish Resistance and Underground. But then later, not for a fatal purpose, often to keep contacts just in case. Poles thought they could achieve better results, because of deeper, full engagement. Admittedly this was unjust, the German plot never lacked engagement. In fact the Poles never were able to recognize the heroism and self-sacrifice, the full human spirit of some conspirators. Still, sure Gremans wanted to close own interim affairs with own hands, it was for them a question of honor. However, life or doom of millions people are more important than prestige and even honor. If they accepted limited help from the British, why not from the organization, at the time probably the best experienced? Surely they could believe in discretion and good faith of Poles, who would accept each condition and keep them.

With full respect for the memory of heroes, however, they committed too many mistakes and did pay heavily with own blood. It is difficult to believe, to what degree of inhuman barbarism this plot pushed Hitler. His reaction exceeded the common lawlessness and cruelty, reaching a contradiction of civilization. He ordered the methods developed on the tortured, tormented bodies (next mutilated corpses) of Poles, Jews, Soviet POW and so on, be applied to his own people. No proofs needed, it was enough the Germans became suspected, they had or may have had any contacts with the so called traitors (in fact dedicated patriots who tried to save Germany from the worst fatal calamity). The so called Peoples (popular) Law-Courts, constituting violation of constitution and any law-order, created especially for this one and only show, acted a roughhouse surpassing any ancient barbarians or savages. Photos from German papers (in great demand then, the edition grew sky-high), displayed the view of people humiliated, and treated worse, as before the Jews or any archenemy of Nazi. A Field Marshal of Wehrmacht, in the uniform turned back, dirty by spite and excrements (sometimes his own, because the old people were unable to hold their reflexes by torture), became crucified in the Court. Well, not literally, murders were not shown, but people knew, the condemned (sure nobody got away free), by Hitler order, had to die as slowly as possible. So they hung on hooks by the rib, or on piano cords, or by any most cruel medieval methods. The ringleader of the bandits had not the time to view this in person. But demanded a film and watched it by preference in free moments. If before he tried to hide away his mental aberrations, now he did not keep up appearances any more. All his close workers had to saw clearly his madness.

Soon came the next news, particularly ominous for the Poles. On July 22nd, the Soviets created a Polish Committee of National Liberation, a substitute of coming marionette government, as well as published the so called Lublin Manifesto. This was the last matter which Angus talked over with Niedzielski. Professor told him, the prints of this manifesto came already preceding day, thrown over the front with air transport, so they had to be printed already earlier. However, still a few days long the foreign press agencies did not make a notice of this fact, concerned mainly with the monetary conference in Bretton Woods (continued next in Dumbarton Oaks and San Francisco). Angus denounced this as bad taste, interest in financial affairs at the time, when at balance is the doom of millions of Polish people. If not Poland in 1939, there would be none meeting in Bretton Woods, no IMF or World Bank. Maybe Schacht would now organize an Aryan World Bank somewhere in Wannensee by Berlin.

Niedzielski expressed a hope this is a good symptom, obviously the free world does not treat seriously, ignores Soviet try to create communist government in Poland without the population acceptance. Alas both were in error. Not the communist government was ignored, but the whole Poland, an ally who already did his duty and now became unnecessary. Therefore they decided to throw the country to Stalin and bury the affair darkly and quietly. On the other side, conference in Bretton Woods had big importance, the IMF and World Bank became beneficent for the future of many people (but for a longtime, without the Poles).

Already on the next day began a general retreat, preferably escape with all appearances of panic, equally of authorities just like the German army. It seemed likely the front may pass over in next few days. Because of constant roundups (Germany needed still more slave labor) parents sent Angus to covert in the forest, in the house of Jaruga. There with Matthew, he had to survive the departure of Germans. When then the retreat speed up, the parents too closed the house and pub and accepted the invitation of Jaruga, and moved in to their house. Angus still timely haunted to the town, but professor Niedzielski house always found empty. His work also he had to stop; he did never come properly to the one last point of agenda, the fulminate of mercury. (Sincerely speaking he had doubts about the preparation description, although next found the reaction easy, and had nitric acidity and alcohol, but only few of mercury. Concern and reservation was, he read, this initiator well fulfills the role only in case of dynamites, but rather badly in case of modern military explosives, not much ground to grudge).

However, despite the hopes, after some days the panicky retreat ended, the Soviets unexpectedly stopped the offensive and front stabilized on the line of Vistula, with some aberrations. Not an end, war had to stay still long. Well, life does not put in compliance to our wishes. However, in the last moment, Angus found his place in the universe. He knew exactly that although still the aim was not achieved, it is straight ahead within his reach.

So ended one of a few next stages of his enterprise; in time of war he tried for his share of fight all the way, but in vain. Not all of his essays were exactly foolish, a pure nonsense, always he put in all he had, however always met with bad luck. He did not succeed now, either, but this time felt no frustration, because he knew for sure he was on a good path. Even if tangled it ran in a satisfactory direction, already on familiar ground. Angus read almost without stop and picked up much information, but rather chaotic. He had a vivid imagination, too much of it, now the experiments make possible to check this, exactly what he needed most. Suddenly flashed a thought that in life, like in a laboratory all preceding tries, essays, errors and blunders, even the frustration and depression, were necessary. Each one experience, even negative ones, added valuable information, and enriched his mind. Thanks to this it appears possible to understand, to recognize even this, on what he looked on blindly. Imagination, yes, but always checked experimentally. He felt this instinctively, like many times he met familiar news, something struck him as self-evident, „déja vu" or „deja vecu". In a few days he shall return home, and continue to produce explosives. Earlier or later he shall learn, and succeed knowing this is the task he become created for. It may be too late, the Germans may already surrender. But even after this, probably it may be necessary to fight for freedom against the Soviets, now an ally, but only recently an ally of Hitler. Possibly like in 1939, Poland had to take the first stroke alone, buy time for the free world, before it recognizes the treat and gives support in its own interest.

But if these expectations are too pessimistic, if all ends well, anyway Poland shall need some armed force, also the arms industry and explosives. Besides, still there was the mystery of the unusual reaction he saw, surely with huge potential, waiting for discovery.

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